How can I prove I'm not Sam Kane?

I keep getting calls from Sam Kane asking me if I know anybody at SportsJournalists.com.

 

I went around and around with this after I got my cell phone.

Fortunately, the fellow had not moved very far and I was indeed able to find – and give callers – his new address. Even now, though, I get a call for him every once in a while.

Cost of doing business, I guess.

 

I feel sorry for the family who had my old number in my previous state... I am so tempted to call and say "Hey, this is Slappy. Any calls for me?"

 

You got a beef with Sam Kane? Try this site:

http://www.samkanebeef.com/

 

Great! Now I have a new number to give them!

 

I still get collection letters for the guy that lived in my apartment prior to me. And I've been in said apartment for five years. Well, I assume they're collection letters. I've never opened one since that would be tampering with the mail.

 

Why is that, Mr. Slappy?

 

The guy who lived in my last house prior to me basically went on the lam. He was supposed to be out at the end of the month, but he found out the sherriff was after him for not paying child support one day. He rented a truck and threw what he could get in there in like an hour and vanished. Half his stuff still in the house, fridge full, his wet towel from that morning's shower still on the counter. Left the landlord a big headache.

We got threatening mail and the occasional process server at the door the entire time we lived there.

 

My name it is Sam Kane, Sam Kane
My name it is Sam Kane, Sam Kane
My name it is Sam Kane
It's my debt but you take the blame
Have those creditors no shame
Damn your eyes

 

Once, when I was in my 20s, I was getting the not-at-this-address treatment and I actually went to the office where the mail was coming from and demanded that they stop. It worked. ... That would never work now, though, as all that stuff seems to come from out of town.

 

In high school, I made the mistake of taking the ASVAB in order to get out of class for a couple of hours. I got near-daily phone calls from military recruiters the rest of my senior year. I finally put a stop to it when some guy from the Navy called and I responded "I didn't know people with missing legs could join the military now."

Never heard another peep.