How can I prove I'm not Sam Kane?

So over the past couple of months, first about once a week and now about 3 times a day, I get calls from at least one, maybe more, bill collectors who insist I'm Sam Kane. I suppose Sam had my cell phone number before I did (I've had it for about 18 months now). I've told them repeatedly I'm not Sam Kane -- but I really don't feel like giving them my real name, as I protect that kind of info.

So wise members of the SportsJournalists.com community, what do you suggest that I do? I've thought about blowing a "rape" whistle into the phone -- but I'm afraid that will just cause them to call me even more!

 

If you'd pay your bills, Sam, we wouldn't call anymore.

 

Outing alert: TigerVols is Sam Kane.

In weirder news, somebody on the Sports and News board is having the exact same problem.

 

Fuck a woman.

 

Tell them to F off and that the only way they'll get Sam Kane's money is by filing a lawsuit.

 

Yeah, it's not like your address is the same.. is it?

 

nope. I'm trying not to stir them up any more tho.

 

You are no fun. At. All.

 

Bring them Sam Kane's head on a pike. Problem solved.

 

Here's what I would do, honestly:

Type in Sam Kane's name and your state into Anywho.com and write down the number it gives you. Next time the collector calls you, tell them "Sam no longer lives here but you can reach him at: xxx-xxxx."

Now it's his problem. (Doesn't really matter whether it's the right guy or not, now does it?)

I should write an advice column: "Ask The Insensitive Prick ..."

 

Dear Mr. Insensitive Prick,

How long will it be until Chef accidentally severs his toe?

 

Advice column, not fortune teller.

About 20 minutes.