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How bad is local TV news?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by bigpern23, Dec 12, 2006.

  1. bigpern23

    bigpern23 Well-Known Member

    Watching a story about a shooting at a strip club. First, I sit and watch as the reporter holds a mic in the face of the victim's mother as she bawls her eyes out. He doesn't say anything. Just lets her cry into the mic.

    Then they interview a few other family members and after the clips, the anchor chimes in, "Friends say he would have given anyone the shirt off his back." I'm not sure if they were trying to be cute, but it seemed like a poor choice of words considering he was the owner of a strip club.

    Blecch, that story was terrible.
  2. Lamar Mundane

    Lamar Mundane Member

    Is that common household product slowly killing your family? We'll tell you what it is and how much time you have to save your baby after the break.
  3. Freelance Hack

    Freelance Hack Active Member

    BOB: And that's the 6 o'clock news for tonight. Here's Amy with a look at what's in store for the 11 o'clock report.

    AMY: Thanks Bob. Coming up tonight, is the family meal you're eating now your last? A local restaurant chain's tainted chives is leading to an E.coli outbreak across the community. We'll tell you what restaurants are involved and just how bad the bacteria is for your family at 11.

    SPORTSCASTER: (mimicing the Ricola commercials) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-coooooooooooliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (spontaneous laughter bursts from the set as the credits roll)
  4. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    Local TV news is so bad nowadays and it's been that way for so long that I no longer can remember when it was good.

    If it had drizzled the day Dahmer was caught they would have led with the weather.
  5. Gutter

    Gutter Well-Known Member

    Not if the Packers were playing ... that would've been the lead story.
  6. Flying Headbutt

    Flying Headbutt Moderator Staff Member

    Anchor: Lets go to our crack reporter standing outside with our top story...

    Reporter: Thank you Haircut. We're out here today because it is freeeeezing out! Scientists call this phenomenon "winter." They say it may be like this for a few more months still. We'll keep you posted. Back to you.
  7. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    What if the Packers were playing in a storm? I bet the news directors would go insane.
  8. Gutter

    Gutter Well-Known Member


    Tom Tucker: And now time for Ollie Williams with the Black-U-Weather Forecast. Ollie?

    Ollie: It gon rain.

    Tom Tucker: Thanks, Ollie.
  9. MertWindu

    MertWindu Active Member

    I sometimes put up an away message quoting a commercial produced by one of the Albany stations. Some of you may know it.

    "There's nothing more important than getting it right. That's why News Channel 13 is going to knock on a lot of doors, put a lot of miles on the cars, and make a ton of phone calls. It's pencils, and coffee, early mornings, and late nights. Because when it comes to reporting the news, you don't just get it now, you get it right."

    Pencils and coffee?????????? PENCILS AND COFFEE??????
  10. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    mY favorite lil' station that can't, NBC-13, gave a report after Hoover lost in the Class 6A title game over the weekend.
    The news side geekette did a long story on Hoover's dynasty and how this could be the end, since Rush Propst wants a college job so bad he could taste it.
    As the camera panned back from the lights of Legion Field from the stations mountaintop studios, the geekete, standing outside to add creedence to her report said , "It could be that Coach Propst has played his last game for Hoover..."
    Fucking airhead.
  11. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    Les: Turning to sports, the winner of this week's Gulf Coast Golf Classic was Chiy-Chiy Rodwigweez. Chiy-Chiy finished with a nine under par score.
    Johnny: Chi-Chi Rodrigues.
    Les: Hopefully, Mister Rodwigweez will play up to par next competition.

    Les: I want to go out among the black people, along the highways and biways, in the cafes, laughing, loving, crying and singing, living the life of the Negro! Reporting it all in a series of award-winning news specials. What do you think?

    Les: In a situation like this, I always ask myself, what would my hero Edward R. Murrow think? And I think that Ed would think that this was censorship. Then I think about what my other hero, General George Patton, would think, and I think George would think that radio and television ought to be cleaned up, and if he were alive today, he'd take two armoured calvalry divisions into Hollywood and knock all those liberal pinheads into the Pacific! So as you can see, I'm a very confused man. And when I get confused, I watch TV. Television is never confusing. It's all so simple somehow.
  12. Starman

    Starman Well-Known Member

    Go fuck yourself, local TV news!!

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