Hopefully things turned out better for The Bear

Now that she's all grown up, would your little sister like a birthday call from Greg Evigan? Do you think your dad might like Larry Holmes to call him up and thank him for raising such a great son? Maybe Horshack could call your sweetie on Sweetest Day and get her to laugh along with him.

Yes, these celebrities and dozens more who you never heard of are available for live phone calls (for just $19.95), for a video greeting card (only $5!) or even a 20-minute appearance by phone at your next event, such as a wedding-day congratulations (just $300 -- Mr. Belding available for this one).

If you ever wondered what all these people are doing now, just give them a 20 spot to call you up and tell you! It will keep some of them out of porn.

http://www.hollywoodiscalling.com/order.php

 

Holy shitballs up my ass, The Professor!

I can ask him who he got it on with on the island (my money: Mr. Howell)

 

Holy hell! Sybil Danning and Vernon Wells! I wonder if I can get them to call me at the same time. That would be tremendous. "Excuse me, BGZ. There's a Warden Sutter and a Wez holding on line one." Fuck yeah! I'll totally be like Chris Farley on his talk show: "Vernon, could you say "They kill us, we kill them! Kill them! Kill them! Kill! Kill!" like you did in The Road Warrior...I mean Mad Max 2? And how about when you told Aaaah-nold "They offered me a hundred grand. You want to know something? When I found out I could get my hands on you, I said I'd do it for nothing" in Commando. That was cool!

Hell, IJAG might want to talk to Vernon Wells. Alyssa Milano was in Commando too.

I wonder if Andrea Thompson would hook me up with a copy of the episode of Arli$$ she was on.

Should I be concerned that I have absolutely no idea who some of those people are?

 

Holy shit, I could pay for Eddie Munster's next fix!

 

Did someone say my name?

 

I've gotten high with Eddie Munster.

Butch Patrick is quite possibly the angriest person I have ever met. He really does have a lot of pent-up rage about the path that his life has taken.

 

"I smoked fake pot with Peter Frampton in a movie. That's different from smoking real pot with a guy who looks like Peter Frampton. I've done that way more." [/Mitch Hedberg]

 

If Mikey doesn't get about 15 of those Belding video greetings sent to him in a matter of hours, I'm sorely disappointed in this place.

 

How about Andrea Thompson doing director's cut commentary for the blow job she gave Charlie Sheen in the limo when she played the hooker in WALL STREET?

 

Embarrassing fact: I used to LOVE David Naughton on My Sister Sam.

 

Post of the year right there.

 

Order in which I'd order them:

1. Tom Candiotti (and talk all about Brook)
2. Kato Kaelin
3. Tony O'Dell
4. Bruhman from Martin
5. Eric Nies