Holiday-themed stories/cliches that should be retired

Every year we read about and hear the same Christmas stories that only seem to be news because they happen at this time of year, supposedly heightening the poignancy/urgency. These are the holiday junk stories. How many is your outfit guilty of running. My biggest beef with these is that there is typically nothing "new" about any of them. A big exception is toy safety.

Christmas decorations/nativity scene vandalized
Family has Christmas presents stolen
travelers stranded
gift card explainers
the "hot" present
Black Friday
will we have a white Christmas?
urgent need for food boxes
Mall parking/car break-ins
Charities needing urgent help because demand is higher than ever and supplies are shorter than ever
how not to gain weight during the holidays
how not to get to drunk at the Christmas party
giving pets as presents dos and don'ts
Christmas lights and safety
Have I forgotten any? Feel free to jack this thread with other hated practices, such as use of the terms "Grinch" "white stuff" "tis the season"

 

Columns on Christmas Day about what gifts people in the sporting world got/should have gotten/given.

Barf.

 

hanukah menorah hot wax on the nipples ledes are always boring ...

 

My roommates are wondering why I can't stop chuckling.

 

Can we retire this one?

"On the 11th day of Christmas, Roger Clemens took it in the butt."

I'm tired of that old chestnut.

 

thank you.

add "what New Year's Resolutions sports figures will or should make"

 

I forgot "Christmas came early for..."

 

All of them.

 

Seconded. And to all who write a Christmasy lede ... ugh.

 

I think some of those are legitimate news stories.

The food bank issue *is* far worse this year than it has been, thefts are usually reported, even if they are not present-related, etc.

I agree on things like:

gift card explainers
the "hot" present
will we have a white Christmas?
how not to gain weight during the holidays
how not to get to drunk at the Christmas party
giving pets as presents dos and don'ts

Also how to/how not to act at the company Christmas party.

On the other hand, you'd assume people would read some of those.

I am more tired of the cliche lines in stories, where writers use [insert nearby holiday here] cliches.

And total agreement on the "Presents for sports figures" stuff.

 

Teams/players doing charity work. Big fucking deal.
Day after Christmas gift returns, etc. Big fucking deal.

What about Kwanza themes?

Also, 'Santa massacres mall patrons' should make the front page.

 

Don't forget the 10,000 pictures of the local holiday parade!