Hole-in-one witnesses

Oh, umpires have been bumped by our clean-up key for years. Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

 

"You want to know who witnessed my hole-in-one, huh? Just the President of the United States."

 

Oh. NOW Saxby Chambliss wants everyone to believe Obama.

 

We require witnesses or the pro shop to report it, but we don't list the witnesses. Nor do we list the brand of ball or club.
Just course, name of player, hole number, yardage and club selection. We also take double-eagles, eagle-twos, course records and guys who shoot their age. Fuck it, everything in golf is on the honor system. If a guy gets his jollies by calling in a fake hole in one, BFD. It's one line in agate and he's the one who has to live with himself.
And trust me ... our readers read the holes-in-one, etc., corner of the paper.

 

And any shithead high school baseball coach can put down every fielders choice or error down as a hit and any shithead football coach can claim he had five kids have 10 or more tackles in a game he won 45-0.

 

Witnesses are just another way for people to get their name in the paper who don't deserve it. We require witnesses or the club to call it in. But we don't use the witness names.

 

I got a hole-in-one as a teenager playing on a course with sand greens. I couldn't find the ball anywhere near the green and finally my playing partner looked in the cup and there it was. The club sent it to the manufacturer and it was returned mounted on a tee. Many years later I was on a site for the school I attended and an older guy posted a message that he remembered me and was standing outside a fence near the green one day and saw me get a hole-in-one. I don't remember him being there and wondered why he didn't say right away that the ball was in the cup.

 

We got two courses, 40 miles apart, with two aces by two people two days apart. Same name (just one of the three) appears on both witness lists. Could be fishy, could be coincidence.

 

Six years and 10 months later . . . the thread resurfaces?

 

I completely forgot that I started this thread. I still agree with my original points though.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/06/saxby-chambliss-hole-in-one_n_3226064.html
Good thing he is retiring - and that the round was cut short - can only imagine him having to explain buying a round for the President. Hole in one or no hole in one.