Hilarious letter to ESPN Magazine

Strangley enough, I once worked with a guy who went by the moniker Buster -- had done so all his life, though not professionally -- and he came by it through no fault of his own. The reason? His last name is Heiman.
Yes, Buster Heiman.
Great guy, great writer, funny nickname.

 

Don't worry ... you'll be mocked later.

 

"Stephen A. Smith is also bad. I have no idea what he was writing about in your last issue. It was either about Kobe isn’t MJ (really?) or how Kobe should have punched one of his teammates, or how Kobe’s not Muhammad Ali. I’m not even exaggerating, I have no idea what he was writing about.
Then, we get to Stu Scott’s steaming pile of feces where you used to pretend he traded text messages with people, and now you pretend he’s chatting online with people.
Stu’s an assclown on the air, and he’s even less suited for print. It’s gibberish. I mean, literal gibberish. Whoever his editor is should be beaten with a rolled up collection of these horrendously bad “columns.”


this passes for witty writing? "...steaming pile of feces..."

yuck yuck i'm doubled over can't catch my breath

"gibberish, I mean, literal gibberish".

whoa. he belongs on stage. what a rapier!

whoever he is - some guy with too much time on his hands - he's an unwitting example of what he's trying to mock.

 

Devolved? That implies it had ever, um, volved.

 

I'd be disappointed if I wasn't.

 

I can't believe nobody's commented on the fact ESPN won't let him cancel a free subscription. They want him to give them the name and address of a friend so they can start sending it to somebody else. How fucked up is that?

 

Some of the comments on the site responding to his blog are almost just as funny.

 

The whole letter was brilliant.
I loved the line about Buster, I hate it when grown men go by nicknames like Buster. I have a friend who is 36 and still goes by Rickey. At what point do you start being Rick, or Richard.

 

Rickey disagrees with you. Rickey likes the name Rickey just fine.

 

Joey feels the same way about Joey.



Me too, says Bobby!



Don't call me Larry Wayne Jones even when I'm 80.

 

Bump for this week's cover.



Seriously, what is up with all the bare-chested dudes?

 

that's your favorite issue, isn't it?