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Helping those Depressed....And doing it all wrong

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by qtlaw, Jun 11, 2018.

  1. qtlaw

    qtlaw Well-Known Member

    Someone very close to me recently showed me an article in the NY Times (sorry can't find it; just a small sidebar in yesterday's paper) about how best to help someone who's suffering from depression.

    Two big takeaways:

    1. Let them absolutely know that they are important to you and that you need them around; and

    2. Don't try to tell them they are wrong or that life's great or what great things they have in their lives.

    As a widely optimistic person who's default protection is to think "life can always be worse" I've been doing it all wrong. Luckily, my friend was very gracious and told me "that's okay, you didn't know what to do."

    Hope this helps someone else besides myself.
    OscarMadison likes this.
  2. typefitter

    typefitter Well-Known Member

    Yes, the "you know there are starving children in Africa" line, while well intentioned, isn't the pick-me-up some might think it is.
    OscarMadison and Tweener like this.
  3. qtlaw

    qtlaw Well-Known Member

  4. John B. Foster

    John B. Foster Well-Known Member

    More athletes need to be like DeMar:

  5. Tweener

    Tweener Active Member

  6. forever_town

    forever_town Well-Known Member

    I remember meeting a then-new roommate for the first time. He told me he had depression.

    My immediate response was, "man, that sucks."

    He then told me he could tell who'd dealt with depression in the past and who hadn't by their reactions to his revelation.

    That response has stayed with me ever since. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not.
  7. Raven

    Raven Active Member

    So, saying, "man, that sucks" immediately disqualifies someone as ever having depression?
  8. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    Today’s more appropriate responses might be:

    “What meds are you on?”

    “Do you have a gun?”
  9. BTExpress

    BTExpress Well-Known Member

    "Better you than me" is my go-to line in such situations.
  10. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    That seems like a twist on “Better Red than dead”.
  11. JRoyal

    JRoyal Well-Known Member

    I've dealt with depression, and I still don't know what to say to people who tell me they're dealing with it sometimes.
    OscarMadison likes this.
  12. typefitter

    typefitter Well-Known Member

    “Shit, I’m sorry. Hang in there. Sometimes life is really fucking hard. It will get better. If you need anything in the meantime, I’m always here. I love you.”
    OscarMadison likes this.
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