1. Welcome to SportsJournalists.com, a friendly forum for discussing all things sports and journalism.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register for a free account to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Access to private conversations with other members.
    • Fewer ads.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Help CradleRobber understand...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by CradleRobber, Sep 2, 2006.

  1. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    Eh, don't know how I'd deal with that, Jones. I'd listen to his concerns...but honestly? If a guy doesn't trust me, then we don't really have the basis for a marriage anyway.

    I realize that's simplifying it, and I understand the concerns. And I have given up friendships before, but not ones that have lasted like this. I mean, we've been friends for 12 years. It's not something I can just say "Oh well, see ya" to.
  2. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    CR, put yourself in your current girl's shoes. How easily would you be able to accept it if she had an ex-boyfriend who was still an important part of her life? If it wouldn't make you at least a little bit insecure, even if there was no logical reason to be, you're a better man than I.
  3. CradleRobber

    CradleRobber Active Member

    I smell ya.

    21, it's interesting you say that about she might still feel we're more than friends. Maple Sugar said something nearly identical to me during the outing. The reason I know she doesn't, and that we're just friends, is that she basically ended it because I was 18, she was 14 and it got too serious for her age, plus she didn't know how often I would be visiting from school. We're DEFINITELY just friends.

    My work schedule during the fall is Tuesday evening, Thursday evening, Friday night and Saturday afternoon. Last year, I basically talked my way out of working weekends to be able to go home, but my parents have practically forbid this ever happening again. So who knows how things will be when I finally do get to visit home for the first time (maybe not until my JC football beat is over).

    I wish things could be simple, but they get even more complicated. The current girl is renting a house with three other people - a couple, and a guy who was in a relationship with her when they signed the lease as two couples. She fell in love with him about a month after we stopped dating when I decided I didn't want a relationship earlier this year, but he broke her heart hardcore. Still, she was stuck and still is stuck in a horrific living situation. Ever since she heard about my huge new 900 square-foot apartment (one bedroom, no roommates), she's hinted several times that she wants to break her lease and live with me. We're haven't even slept with each other in several months, and I sure as hell am not ready for the type of relationship that includes a live-in girlfriend.

    So I guess you could call that my current hesitency for starting a relationship with her. I just don't want her to mistake that for me still having feelings for the ex.
  4. Sam Mills 51

    Sam Mills 51 Well-Known Member


    My first and I were just swapping e-mails a few days ago. She's married with a child between them, and another he brought into their relationship. We e-mail just often enough to say hello, catch up, etc., etc. but not to the point where he ever has anything to worry about. Simply put, I'll always care for her at some level. We had some things in common, but the main thing is she wanted marriage and kids, and my name should be synonymous with loner.

    CR, I agree with the others in that no relationship is worth losing good, worthwhile friends over. But, assuming your friend understands, cool it at least a bit with her for the reason 21 offered. It's not that you have to give up your friendship, but if your current GF feels that you can't confide in her - than you always have to run to your other friend for support and advice - that's going to damage your current relationship.

    I hope something in this helps, CR.
  5. 21

    21 Well-Known Member

    1. She cannot move in. She can come over and sleep over, that's it. No toothbrush, no extra tampons under the sink. Maybe a pair of gym shorts if yours don't fit her, but that's it. You're 19. You can be in a relationship without playing house. If she doesn;t like living in the same house as her ex, she can move elsewhere. Just not with you.

    2. Maybe I'm reading too much into your description of the new girl, but she does sound a little clingy and needy.

    3. The ex obviously ended it because it was inconvenient (age/distance), not because she didn't like you. If you really care about her, cut the strings and let her find a local guy her own age.

    4. There may only be a 3 year difference in your ages, but those three years--16-19 are an entire generation. You never get these college years back again. Don't spend them still attached to high school.
  6. joe

    joe Active Member

    I don't know what state you're in, but I'm pretty damn sure that 18 into 14 is statutory rape any way you look at it.*

    *Not valid in Kentucky.
  7. sportschick

    sportschick Active Member

    There are several states that define it as being more than four years older than the minor, not just Kentucky.

    CR, You need to cool the friendship a bit. I'm betting she's still very into you, your current girl is picking up on it and that's what's causing the issues.

    And under no circumstances should the current girl move in other than a spare toothbrush and a change of clothes. Sure she's in a shitty living situation, but I'm sure there are plenty of other places she could move to get out of it.
  8. KYSportsWriter

    KYSportsWriter Well-Known Member

    CR, you were dating a 14-year-old when you were 18? Isn't that illegal?

    I have to somewhat agree with what Jones said. Cut ties with the ex, but only if you want a strong relationship to come out of what you have now.

    The girl I last dated, we hardly ever talk anymore. We're not friends and I don't intend on being her friend. I'd advise cutting ties with the 16-year-old while you can.
  9. spaceman

    spaceman Active Member

  10. farmerjerome

    farmerjerome Active Member

    Ditch the minor. Nothing but trouble.
  11. Claws for Concern

    Claws for Concern Active Member

    Move forward or get stuck in the past
  12. patchs

    patchs Active Member

    Like I told you in Toronto, when you move into a new house, you leave the old house behind -- no visits, no stopping in.
    I don't blame the new house for getting POed.
Draft saved Draft deleted

Share This Page