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Have you ever...?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by alleyallen, Mar 24, 2008.

  1. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    Have you ever had one of those spine-freezing, stomach-clenching, time-stopping, "Oh shit!" moments? Those times where you could see yourself doing something regrettable, but you just can't stop it?

    I had a remembrance today of just one of those moments from a few years ago. I stumbled upon a mention of Karen Carpenter and remembered, with horror, a truly tasteless and inappropriate joke my first wife, Ruthie, told me on more than one occasion.

    Which led to me remembering how I told that same joke to a co-worker that, I found out -- moments after the punchline was delivered -- was definitely NOT the person to whom I should have told that joke.

    And as the punchline came out of my lips, I felt that same gut-wrenching moment of comprehension.


    Anyway...share your stories. But please, don't jack the thread into stories about someone not getting laid, etc. And certainly no Bush talk, although bush talk is fine.
  2. Angola!

    Angola! Guest

    What was the joke?
  3. pressboxer

    pressboxer Active Member

    That Mama Cass should have given Karen the ham sandwich.
  4. a_rosenthal

    a_rosenthal Guest

    Annorexia is funny.

    I made a joke about how someone on the design desk across the newsroom was worthless.

    Happened to be the wife of the person I told.

    Had to pretend I was confused and talking about someone else....
  5. Piotr Rasputin

    Piotr Rasputin New Member

    You hear about the new Karen Carpenter greatest hits album?

    Her picture's on the side of the CD case. [/JackieMartling]
  6. mike311gd

    mike311gd Active Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  7. Angola!

    Angola! Guest

    That's some good stuff right there.
    I can imagine the furious backpedaling that was going on.
  8. Rumpleforeskin

    Rumpleforeskin Active Member

    We got a new SID at the local university and he's like 6-foot-10, 270-pounds. He always hovers around during interviews and just towers over me.

    So, at the last basketball game I covered, he brought his family to the game and I saw his kid. He's about 15-years-old, but he's 6'2, 190. The kid is growing up to be just like his father.

    I lean over to the assistant SID and ask if he's seen the size of the main SID's kid. I look down and see the SID's gargantuan feet behind me and I parlay the conversation into asking about his family.
  9. BigSleeper

    BigSleeper Active Member

    Closest thing I got is this. My last night in Ohio, I was having dinner with my sister, her friend and her friend's boyfriend -- a guy on the Browns roster. I was in a good mood and had knocked back a few too many shots (for a lightweight like me, anyway). He asked me what I didn't like about being a sports writer. "Trying to get decent quotes out of guys like you." He wasn't amused ...
  10. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    That was the joke, or pretty close to it. Eek.
  11. Armchair_QB

    Armchair_QB Well-Known Member

    Run from him. He plays for the Browns. It's not like he'll be able to catch you.
  12. Huggy

    Huggy Well-Known Member

    Jackie The Jokeman fucking rocks.
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