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Have you ever heard your woman pass gas? To the women: Why hide it?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Write-brained, May 25, 2007.

  1. outofplace

    outofplace Well-Known Member

    They don't want to know, Moddy...I wish I didn't....
     
  2. Seven years, Moddy! I've seen her give birth!

    No wonder she's always uptight with me :D
     
  3. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    You saw her give birth and didn't hear her bust ass?
    Wow.
    Child birth ain't pretty until the child is actually born.
     
  4. zeke12

    zeke12 Guest

    I'm with Moddy.

    I mean, come on.
     
  5. I might have heard some pregnancy farts but those don't really count ..
     
  6. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    Oh, so now we're qualifying it!

    I don't know if I heard anything either, come to think of it, beyond the "MOTHERFUCKER OH SHIT MOTHERFUCKER GOD DAMN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DAMN SHIT THIS HURTS."
     
  7. I've blocked out all nine months of the pregnancy from hell.

    Wife was not a glowing mom to be, especially when they put her on bed rest four months before the little angel arrived, leaving poor Write-brained to cook and clean and eventually just get carryout.
     
  8. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    We did Lamaze and the instructor told us to have a code phrase to use in case she decided she wanted an epidural. "Make sure it isn't the pain talking. Make sure she is clear headed enough to recall and say the phrase before she plugs in."
    So she's trying to stay natural but it gets to be too much and she tells the doctor to plug her in.
    "OK, honey, wha ***"
    "(DOGS NAMES REAL LOUD) WANT ME TO HAVE A FUCKING EPIDURAL."

    OK, they do indeed.

    Second child, no bullshitting around. Plugged in from the start.
     
  9. John

    John Well-Known Member

    Sean: My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderful little idiosyncrasies. She used to fart in her sleep. I thought I’d share that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up. She woke up and went ‘ah was that you?’ And I didn’t have the heart to tell her.

    Will: She woke herself up?
     
  10. That made me laugh ... stirred the sleeping wife.

    Mine knew she wanted the shot months ahead of time. She was just starting to threaten to tear my balls off when they hit her with it ...
     
  11. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    ya know... there are some 2-footers you have to pass up... consider this one... and thank stoo...
     
  12. Moderator1

    Moderator1 Moderator Staff Member

    She meant that shit, too. Trust me.
     
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