Have you ever been THIS drunk?

There was a man sitting down at a bar when another man came in and sat beside him. The first man looked at the second, and said, "Do you want to hear something that's pretty neat?" The other guy said, "Sure, go ahead and tell me." Then the first guy said, "Well, if you jump off of a building, the air will catch you and throw you back up onto the building. The other guy didn't believe him, so they went up to the roof to see. The first guy jumped off of the building and fell a few feet, and then popped right back onto the roof. The other guy couldn't believe it and asked him to do it again. Again he jumped off of the building and popped right back up, and he said, "Now you try it." The first guy jumped off the building and fell all the way, hitting the ground hard. The guy walked back down from the roof to the bar and sat down. The bartender looked at him and said, "You know, you're a real ass when you're drunk, Superman."

 

Yes.

I may have told this story once on here, but anyway here goes.....

(non-amputation story)

Father's Day Eve-1999

Just got a brand new 1999 Mustang.

Me, 3 others in my car.....4 others in another car.

Go to a local club, and proceed to get hideously drunk.

Close the place down, and we were going to follow this other car to a party.

They take a different route, and somehow we get lost.

In my drunken state, I say to myself......"Hey, maybe they went back to the bar....."

So, we go back to the bar, even though the place had been closed down a good 1/2 hour.

Gravel at the end of the parking lot.

When I reach the end of the parking lot, I accidentally spin out.

In comes Mr. Officer, or as I remember calling him......not joking......"Mister Mister"

Let me preface this by saying at the time of my pending arrest, I am about 3 blocks from my apartment.

Officer says to me......"Have you been drinking tonight, Mr. Chef?"

Chef; "Yeah, I've had a little."

Ponch: "So, where are you on your way to?"

Chef: "I'm on my way to another party."

Yes.

I've been that drunk.

 

Classic, Chef. Classic.

 

what's the traditional father's day eve tipple?

 

tipple?

 

The Life Of Chef may soon be joining Crossed Giblets Of Death and The Adventures Of Mike at the SportsJournalists.com multiplex.

 

Angola fell off a roof. Does that count?

 

I'll start binding my stories now.

 

Same here.

Self-amputations vs. Zach Morris and the lack of poon.

I think my movie would rake in the dough.

Though, would probably come in a distant second to the "Crossed Giblets of Death"

 

We could probably sell six or seven copies, easily.

 

i busted my ankle one afternoon at 4 and started slamming large amounts of jager. didn't go to the hospital until 10 the next morning. does that count?