Happy National Tell a Lie Day

Creosote will find his life partner and not become the male Elizabeth Taylor

 

No, that dress doesn't make you look fat.

 

The check is in the mail. ;D

 

I can't believe the guys who sang the Macarena didn't have another big hit in the US.

 

Sure, I'll make deadline.

 

I invented Neopolitan ice cream.

The first word I ever said was right after I came out of the womb. I said, "shit". Only, I was born in 1971, and I said it like, "sheeeeit." Because of that, I also inspired countless 70s blaxploitation films.

I wrote the bubble gum song "Yummy Yummy Yummy" (I've Got Love In My Tummy). Only the assholes at the record company made me change the lyrics. The actual lyrics are, "yummy, yummy, yummy, she's got love in her tummy" and it was written about the first blow job I received.

 

I've read all the "Twilight" books and enjoyed them very much.

 

I worked exactly 40 hours this and every other week.

 

Yes, I'd like to read more about Buster Posey.

 

Are you really sure that April 4th is National Tell A Lie Day?

How do we know that you are telling the truth?

 

Finds this holiday excruciatingly frustrating:

 

SportsCenter needs more Yankees-Red Sox coverage.