Happy Father’s Day

Hang in there Hermes.

We were 2/6 with pregnancies. It is tough and such a helpless feeling. Wishing you good karma and thoughts.

 

Sending good thoughts to you and yours, Hermes.

If I may suggest doing something tangible in honor/memory of this, like planting a tree, it helps.

 

I'm so sorry for turning this thread into a personal diary, but I have nowhere to go with this stuff right now because we haven't told anyone about the original pregnancy. And I can do it anonymously here.

Life threw us another – wonderful, bittersweet, baffling — curveball about 1:35 this afternoon.

We went and got an ultrasound just to make sure everything was cleared out and no further surgery was needed before we started this second round of IVF all over again.

My wife showed the doctor a (gross) photo of what she passed and he softly said "gosh darn it" grimly. Then, everyone in the room resigned to the inevitable, we started the ultrasound.

What looks like a bubble suddenly pops up on the screen. And a little bubble inside the bubble. I'll never forget the look on the doctor's face and my wife's reaction the second he said, "Well, what do we have here?" The doctor then said, "I was not expecting this."

I lost my breath, but not wanting to have too much hope. "Looks healthy. And there's a heartbeat." he said as he and the tech let us listen to a 108 beats per minute I never dreamed I'd hear. I didn't know whether to lift this doctor (who looks like Dick Van Patten) up in the air or kiss him. I settled on a handshake. "I almost didn't schedule the ultrasound," the doctor said.

As far as we can surmise, it looks like we miscarried one of what were twins. We're pretty sure it wasn't a clot for grisly reasons I won't get into. The doctor really couldn't say definitively.

There is still such a long ways to go and the chances of this turning badly are probably still pretty high. For a little while longer we have hope, however.

As we left the clinic and went to our car I joked that this baby might end up living and in the course of that kill his or her parents from worry a few minutes after it arrives. Also, I'm really glad she didn't give into that temptation to drink away the pain after last week.

We're still saddened by the loss of the possibility of twins. Given my wife's age of 38 and how difficult even getting this pregnancy, a two-for-one bargain sounded amazing. We're still scared of what might lie ahead. But in the meanwhile I know what it's like in just a few days span to have lost and gained something I've never wanted so much.

I feel like I just lived through an episode of Highway to Heaven or something. It's very disorienting.

I'll stop babbling.

 

Holy shit. That’s one hell of a roller coaster.

Best to you going forward. Don’t spend so much time worrying that you forget to enjoy some of it.

 

First of all, congrats!

Second, talk all you want. That's what we're here for. From exmediahack's divorce, MileHigh losing family, Elliotte's gaffe during the Olympics ... you name it, this board has your back!

 

Feel free to vent all you want. The process you're going through is not easy. I'm ecstatic and devastated for you all at once. Wherever you need anonymous venting, this board is here.

 

Congrats on the wonderful news. Sorry about the loss. Here's hoping that there's a happy ending.

 

Not sure if this advice helps or not but thought I would throw it out there.

When we were having our issues my wife bought a fetal heart monitor so that she knew the baby heart was till beating. It drove me nuts because I always thought that if the monitor wasn't working great or could not find a heart beat right away that it would cause needless stress.

It did really help her though so I was supportive of it. I ended up sending the monitor to a member of SJ and I think they used it a bit.

Might be worth checking out, think they run about $150.

And great news, congrats!

 

It's not talking, or venting; it's sharing.

Congratulations!

 

Wow, just read this. What a week. Good luck going forward.

 

We're inducing Friday.

It's starting to sink in that they're really going to let me become a father. Nobody is going to stop this whole charade and say "HIM?"

It means the end of working two full-time jobs and going down to one. It is the end of my journalism career, illustrious as it was, what with my state AP awards for "Best Podunk Hicktown Sports Editor" and "Last Remaining Full-Time Sports Writer At a Daily This Small So He Wins by Default Award" and "Best Column About Event No One Cares About." I've replaced this career with another second full-time job taking care of a screaming poop machine.

It's gonna be great. Can't wait to meet this poor maniac who shares my DNA. I hope he's as smart as his mom, as handsome as me and never, ever, ever goes into journalism.

 

Sending good thoughts your way.