Happy Birthday, Write-Brained!

fair trade for me, ijag.

 

Hello Fellow SJcomers,

I just wanted to tell you all in a long, drawn-out buzzed sort of way that I had perhaps my greatest birthday moment of all time tonight.

It was actually a pretty crappy day for the most part - aside from the surprise well-wishes here . We had to drive home three hours from the in-laws and then drop my wife off at work (on my birthday!) because she wanted to make some extra money for Christmas. She's still there until midnight.

I was a bit pissed off about that - and the fact we had nothing even remotely special planned for my day - so I made plans for my daughter and I to see her first minor league hockey game. Fun, right? I like hockey as long as I get to play it or watch it in public. And I felt like splurging a bit: It's my fucking day.

We got there an hour early and scored seats in the second row near mid-ice. I got a $6 beer, a pizza and took her around to the puck-shoot and the jump castles. We also bought a couple of rubber pucks for $1 apiece just for the hell of it. People were buying these things by the dozens. I had no idea what the fuck for, but I bought one for me and one for her.

I was on $6 beer No. 2 by the time the game started.

Anyway, the kid liked it enough as I explained about the goalies and how the players go to the penalty box if they're bad. By the second period, she was getting a bit bored until it happened - my daughter's first hockey fight ;D. It was a crappy fight. They twirled around for about a minute until they started blindly throwing punches.

My daughter was mezmorized. "When are they going to fight again?" The couple with the 2-year-old in the front row was a bit appalled that I let the four-year-old watch (they shielded their son's eyes). I explained to them, as I did my daughter, that it's OK because they're grown-ups wearing protective padding and helmets - and when they're done they go to time-out in the penalty box.

The kid spent the rest of the night waiting on another fight.

(To be continued ... yes, there's more ...)

 

We had a bit of a down moment in the second period when one of the referee's pointed to me in the second period and then to the two-year-old boy in front of me. He tossed the puck over the glass into the hands of the boy's mom.

I was a bit disappointed that my kid didn't get a puck, but we congratulated the family and went on with the game.

In the second intermission, the arena staff put out some sort of blanket on center ice and everyone started throwing those rubber pucks. My daughter wanted to throw her puck that had the No. 5 on it. Her first attempt bounced off the glance and into my hand. Her second attempt went on to the ice and flopped over.

She wanted another piece of pizza so I just carelessly tossed my puck over the glass. It hit, landed on its side and then rolled and kept rolling. It rolled about 20 feet until it stopped directly in the middle of the puck-sized circle and flopped on its side. Everyone in the arena cheered. I cheered a bit louder because I was pretty damn sure that was my puck. I was a bit buzzed at this moment so I couldn't be sure.

When it was over, they announced puck no. 1,442 was the winner. I think that was mine. I gave my daughter No. 5 because it was easy to remember. I knew mine had some fours and twos in it.

We went back to where I bought the pucks but the lady wasn't there. While we waited the kid got a unicorn painted on her face and a couple of balloons shaped like poodles. Still no woman so we sat back in our seats and my daughter gave the 2-year-old one of the balloons. He spent the rest of the game trying to get my daughter's balloon, while mom and dad ignored him (Parents, please watch your own damn kids).

The game got good in the third period. They were finally checking each other now that the home team was down a goal with only a few minutes left. Music was blaring. Feet were stomping. The kid and I were having a kick-ass time.

Just then they announce that Write-Vrained had won the puck toss jackpot for a grand total of, wait for it ... $400!

We went to customer service where a woman handed me a wad of 20s without checking my ID. I said, do you want to check my ID. "Oh, yeah. I probably should have asked for that."

So I stick my wad into my pocket and we go to watch the last minute of the game. My daughter's thrilled because the away team won - she loved the black uniforms - and was the only person in the entire arena rooting for them.

At that moment, the same referee comes back over to us and points at me again and then at my kid. He takes off for the penalty box, comes back with a puck and tosses it over the glass to me. (Yes, I dropped it, which was a bit ego-inflating, but WTF) A free-fucking puck with the home ice still dripping off of it. The kid and I were ecstactic. We called mom and told her we had a great time.

Oh, and I hope the approximately $100 she netted by working tonight was worth missing out on our night.

Thanks for reading.

 

Still a little buzzed, eh?

 

You fuckin' bet. Put the car on cruise control and I let it do all the work.

 

Congrats, man, partly on the money but mostly on having a good time with little Ms. Brained.

 

Sounds like a solid birthday, sir. Your wife better be ready to top that when she gets home after midnight. ...

 

WB, your wife owes you one. In fact, I say screw her next time the anniversary comes about.

 

Too easy. Just so freakin' easy.

 

That's a good plan. But make sure you screw her tonight, too.

 

The wife doesn't deserve sex tonight. She was totally inconsiderate of her husband.

 

Why punish Write-brained twice?