Happy Birthday Spnited

dooley_womack1 · Sep 10, 2008

But be sure you have eight fish sticks ready for him at 4 sharp.

Songbird · Sep 10, 2008

dooley_womack1 said:

But be sure you have eight fish sticks ready for him at 4 sharp.
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And give him his tar-tar sauce. /C. Montgomery Burns

dooley_womack1 · Sep 10, 2008

He and his sister should go to Atlantic City. They'd clean up in blackjack, with the way he can count cards.

spnited · Sep 10, 2008

dooley_womack1 said:

He and his sister should go to Atlantic City. They'd clean up in blackjack, with the way he can count cards.
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What the fuck do you think I'm doing in Vegas in two weeks? You moran.

casty33 · Sep 10, 2008

And, spnited, I know you know this but I'll tell you anyway. KW may have been the best thing that ever happened to you, considering where you are now and where you were before.

spnited · Sep 10, 2008

casty33 said:

And, spnited, I know you know this but I'll tell you anyway. KW may have been the best thing that ever happened to you, considering where you are now and where you were before.
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You got that right Casty.
Doesn't mean I have to like the fat bastard.

BYH · Sep 10, 2008

Songbird said:

Now let's party to The Gumpty Grump (courtesy Zeke and the others who helped inspire this) ...

All right!
Stop whatcha postin'
'cause I'm about to coast in
and talk some shit about Tom Seaver.
I look funny
and I ain't makin' money see
so yo SportsJournalists.com I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather round
I'm the new fool in town
and my sound's laid down by the Underground.
I'll drink the bottle of Geritol you got on your shelf
So just let me introduce myself
My name is spnited, pronounced with the -ited
And, yo ladies, oh how I likes to go to bed.
And all the posters in the top ten--please allow me to bump thee.
I'm steppin' tall, y'all,
and just like Humpty Dumpty
you're gonna fall when the reply button pumps me.
I like to whine,
I like my verbiage crusty,
I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis, straight old guy smack
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll post about the Met pen until you say ick
hey yo Beej, c'mere--are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya Beej.
Look at me, I'm Old.
It never stopped me from gettin' told no.
I'm a freak
I like my girls with one foot in the tomb
I once edited copy in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm bitter but it just don't faze me.
I'm still hiking up my old man pants
and I even got my own dance

The Spnited Dance is your chance to do the grump
Do the Grumpty Grump, come on and do the Grumpty Grump
Do the Grumpty Grump, just watch me do the Grumpty Grump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Grumpty Grump
Do the Grumpty Grump, do the Grumpty Grump

People say "Yo, Spnited, you're really cranky gramps'"
that's all right 'cause I own you whippersnaps'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to confuse me
I still don't know what the cat pictures mean
I give 'em more, see, and on the board, BYH,
all the girls they adore me
Oh yes, posters, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in 69 the Boys of Summer really tickled my rear.
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pica pole, I'm still not gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,
both how I'm livin' and my prostate is large
I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
I use a screen name that don't mean nothin', like spnited
I post on the baseball thread,
and if you missed it.
I'm the one who said
"Johan Santana sucks hind tit."
Also told ya that I like to whine
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like early bird dinner time.
All ya had to do was give Grumpty a chance
and now I'm gonna do my dance.

The Spnited Dance is your chance to do the grump
Do the Grumpty Grump, come on and do the Grumpty Grump
Do the Grumpty Grump, just watch me do the Grumpty Grump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Grumpty Grump
Do the Grumpty Grump, do the Grumpty Grump

Breakdown:
Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that "new record' right here
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like Willie Randolph waving to the pen
Crazy wack funky
People say ya look like Aaron Heilman on crack, Grumpty
That's all right 'cause my old body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can post my name
This is my dance, y'all, Grumpty Grump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to have arthritis pains
Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
jig around, shakin' ya rump,
and when the Simon chump pump points a finger like a stump
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Grump.

The Spnited Dance is your chance to do the grump
Do the Grumpty Grump, come on and do the Grumpty Grump
Do the Grumpty Grump, just watch me do the Grumpty Grump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Grumpty Grump
Do the Grumpty Grump, do the Grumpty Grump

Salary cap advocates, do the Grumpty Hump, do the Grumpty Grump
Flyover Fools, do the Grumpty Grump, do the Grumpty Grump
Springsteen fans, do the Grumpty Grump, just keep on doin' the Grump
Middle-aged divorcees, do the Grumpty Grump, do the Grumpty Grump
Let's get stoopid!

Oh, yeah, come on and break it down
Outro:
Once again, SportsJournalists.com is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to Tahoe,
keep on doin' the Grumpty Dance,
and to the ladies,
peace and Grumpiness forever
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Holy fucking crap. I really mean it this time: This right here is the greatest thing this board has ever produced.

Salary cap advocates, do the Grumpty Hump, do the Grumpty Grump
Flyover Fools, do the Grumpty Grump, do the Grumpty Grump
Springsteen fans, do the Grumpty Grump, just keep on doin' the Grump
Middle-aged divorcees, do the Grumpty Grump, do the Grumpty Grump
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That's the money shot. Awesome.

Bubbler · Sep 10, 2008

I was a bigger fan of this ...

"My name is spnited, pronounced with the -ited"

spnited · Sep 10, 2008

That is incredible, Xan.
You are one sick fucker.

shotglass · Sep 10, 2008

If that's not already hanging up by your desk ...

Songbird · Sep 10, 2008

spnited said:

That is incredible, Xan.
You are one sick fucker.
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With all due respect, Zeke fashioned the final product after about an hour of really really funny posting by myself and others on the Springsteen thread. Maybe the best threadjacking ever. If you do a search for Grumpty Grump you'll find the thread from Aug. 13.

But remember, Zeke is the author of the masterpiece. He must've learned something about songwriting from Henley ...

zeke12 · Sep 10, 2008

I will happily share the credit with Xan and Beej, both of whom are my inspiration in all things threadjack related.

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Happy Birthday Spnited

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Happy Birthday Spnited

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