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Happy birthday, Chuck Norris!

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by ServeItUp, Mar 10, 2009.

Page 1 of 3
  1. ServeItUp

    ServeItUp Active Member

    Chuck Norris is 69 years old. He'll celebrate by roundhouse kicking Father Time.

    Chuck Norris doesn't blow out the candles on his cake. He wills them to stop burning.

    His birthday cake is made of gravel, shards of glass and little rings of PVC pipe, topped with motor oil.
     
    ServeItUp, Mar 10, 2009
    #1
  2. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he presses the Earth down.
     
    playthrough, Mar 10, 2009
    #2
  3. doubledown68

    doubledown68 Active Member

    Chuck Norris is a man of few words. He is not a man of few roundhouse kicks.

    Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.
     
    doubledown68, Mar 10, 2009
    #3
  4. Drip

    Drip Active Member

    Met Chuck in Atlantic City before the Tyson-Spinks fight in 1988. Had a beauty on his arm that evening.
    I remember being astounded that he was so short. Man time does fly.
    Happy Birthday Chuck.
     
    Drip, Mar 10, 2009
    #4
  5. ColbertNation

    ColbertNation Member

    Still one of my personal favorites:

    Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
     
    ColbertNation, Mar 10, 2009
    #5
  6. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Chuck Norris directs all birthday wishes to Ryan Sonner.
     
    dooley_womack1, Mar 10, 2009
    #6
  7. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Chuck Norris will hunt you down if you don't send a card.
     
    Ace, Mar 10, 2009
    #7
  8. Claws for Concern

    Claws for Concern Active Member

    You people have it all wrong. He's on his Total Gym right now.
     
    Claws for Concern, Mar 10, 2009
    #8
  9. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    By father time do you mean spnited?


    Chuck Norris has more posts than BYH.
     
    mustangj17, Mar 10, 2009
    #9
  10. JackReacher

    JackReacher Well-Known Member

    As long as his card comes with cash and not a fist to the nads, I'm cool with that.

    One of my personal favorites....Chuck Norris will choke you with a cordless phone.
     
    JackReacher, Mar 10, 2009
    #10
  11. forever_town

    forever_town Well-Known Member

    Before the bogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
     
    forever_town, Mar 10, 2009
    #11
  12. Drip

    Drip Active Member

    Chuck Norris vs. Grim Reaper.
    Reaper in 1.
     
    Drip, Mar 10, 2009
    #12
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