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Happy birthday, Chuck Norris!

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by ServeItUp, Mar 10, 2009.

  1. ServeItUp

    ServeItUp Active Member

    Chuck Norris is 69 years old. He'll celebrate by roundhouse kicking Father Time.

    Chuck Norris doesn't blow out the candles on his cake. He wills them to stop burning.

    His birthday cake is made of gravel, shards of glass and little rings of PVC pipe, topped with motor oil.
  2. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he presses the Earth down.
  3. doubledown68

    doubledown68 Active Member

    Chuck Norris is a man of few words. He is not a man of few roundhouse kicks.

    Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.
  4. Drip

    Drip Active Member

    Met Chuck in Atlantic City before the Tyson-Spinks fight in 1988. Had a beauty on his arm that evening.
    I remember being astounded that he was so short. Man time does fly.
    Happy Birthday Chuck.
  5. ColbertNation

    ColbertNation Member

    Still one of my personal favorites:

    Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  6. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Chuck Norris directs all birthday wishes to Ryan Sonner.
  7. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Chuck Norris will hunt you down if you don't send a card.
  8. Claws for Concern

    Claws for Concern Active Member

    You people have it all wrong. He's on his Total Gym right now.
  9. mustangj17

    mustangj17 Active Member

    By father time do you mean spnited?

    Chuck Norris has more posts than BYH.
  10. JackReacher

    JackReacher Well-Known Member

    As long as his card comes with cash and not a fist to the nads, I'm cool with that.

    One of my personal favorites....Chuck Norris will choke you with a cordless phone.
  11. forever_town

    forever_town Active Member

    Before the bogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  12. Drip

    Drip Active Member

    Chuck Norris vs. Grim Reaper.
    Reaper in 1.
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