Hall of Fame-worthy smackdown of Bill Simmons

And how is that different from how every other columnist at ESPN.com gets treated in their comments space?

 

Combine all the venom aimed at the other ESPN writers get and you'll get half of what is aimed at Simmons.

Not saying it isn't deserved, but he gets tons more than the others.

 

Bill Simmons just sent me this story....

THE GOLDEN PHONE
A man in Topeka , Kansas decided to write a book about Churches around the
country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from
there.
Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making
notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued
with a sign, which read 'Calls: $10,000 a minute.'
Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The
pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven
and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.
The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued
to visit churches in Seattle , Dallas, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, and
around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the
same answer from each pastor.
Finally, he arrived in Massachusetts. Upon entering a church in
Boston, MA .. .........Behold - he saw the usual golden telephone.

But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: .35 cents."

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, "Reverend, I have been in
cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden
telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could
talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your
sign reads only .35 cents a call. Why? Why?"
The pastor, smiling benignly, replied :

"Son, you're in Boston, Massachusetts now, home of the Boston Red Sox, the
Patriots, and Boston Celtics! "

You're in God's Country, It's a local call.

 

Again, there's no reason for ESPN to not run a comment box if the story gets 10,000 comments. That's more reason to run a comment box and it makes me think that ESPN didn't shut it down without some encouragement from the author

And Simmons sensitivity to people saying he sucks is widely noted in damn near any story written about him.

 

I just wonder how much responsibility Simmons bears for all the animosity against Boston teams. I'll say 60-70 percent.

 

Except, this particular punk grew up in Greenwich, Conn., went to the most exclusive prep school in town, went to private colleges and grad schools, and still tried to pass himself off as an everyman.

 

Well, his bank account suggests a helluva lot of people fell for the "everyman" schtick.

 

No one's arguing that point.

 

Thus making him the "Larry the Cable Guy" of sportswriting.

 

Brunswick Academy - one of the most elite private schools in the country. Everyman my ass.

 

In fairness, I don't think Simmons has tried to portray himself as an Everyman as far as his economic class. His claim is more that he's Everyfan -- a guy who watches games on TV with his buddies, same as his readers. The fact that he apparently grew up a rich preppy doesn't really have much to do with his persona as the anti-sportswriter.

 

But he's not that, either. He grew up with season tickets to the Celtics, and currently has season tickets to the Clippers. He's not an everyfan by any stretch of the imagination.