Hall of Fame-worthy smackdown of Bill Simmons

Not at all. I'll limit my suggestion, and it's really only a suggestion, to DD's idea of Simmons' "heirs." Thats' clearly not "anyone." And clearly, they have valid criticisms regardless.

 

This is a site of journalists. That means, when one or more of us reads a steaming pile of shit like what Simmons wrote, we may feel the need to rip it to shreds....or share with the group when somebody else rips it to shreds in admirable fashion.

The Colts lost on purpose to duck the Patriots? Are you fucking kidding me?

I know this sounds condescending as hell, but I'm going to say it anyway....bostonbred, I know you're really young, so maybe you don't know any better yet. But Simmons does and he doesn't care. He keeps churning out these long, slow, typewritten blowjobs knowing that the Boston fanboy nation will lap it up rather than actually provide anything of value. He can do better. He just chooses not to.

And yes, he's doing all right for himself with it. Bully for him. Doesn't mean what he wrote isn't shit.

Hannah Montana is crap, too. I know. I see it enough because my kid loves it. She's young. She doesn't know any better. Good for little Miss Cyrus that she can make some cash off it, but that doesn't mean that isn't crap, too.

And yes, bostonbred, I did just compare your taste in columns to my four-year-old's taste in television. I have hope for both of you that you will learn to expect more someday and appreciate quality.

 

And don't forget that the 86 Lakers also subconsciously lost on purpose to avoid his beloved 86 Celtics. Yeah, that Magic Johnson, he had no confidence or competitive spirit at all, always backing down from a challenge, that sounds exactly like him. Simmons has become such a twat.

 

With all due respect to BYH's thread, the idea that the Colts lost on purpose to duck the Patriots is probably the dumbest thing I've ever read.

 

I didn't actually read anything beyond the excerpts in the KSK rant, but I don't believe for a second Simmons actually believes any of this. It's way too off the wall. Based on what little of his I have seen in the last year'ish it seems like he's playing a Dice-Clay character whose sole purpose is to get a rise out of readers.

 

No big fan of KSK, but calling Rivers "Marmalard" isn't bad.

 

True...though my rant was directed at bostonbred, too, and I don't think he was even born yet in '86.

 

Simmons still fashions himself as counter-culture, even though his rants are served with three courses of pop-culture references. He views himself as this antiestablishment writer, so every mention on here and elsewhere complaining about his work, he gets off on it.

Who would be stupid enough to think that the Lakers tanked in '86? They only won two of three Finals matchups against the Celtics in a four-year period. Simmons also conveniently forgets the Lakers didn't win the West every year that decade (see 1981, for instance) so he can make his bullshit point that he doesn't even believe.

 

And he thinks all this despite working for the Worldwide Behemoth.

He's the Rage Against The Machine of sportswriters.

 

Not sure anything could make me root for New England this weekend, but the thought of Rivers yapping away at Super Bowl media day comes damn close.

 

Big Daddy Drew, the author of this piece, is on the record as having liked Simmons in the past. Hell, his original BLOG! linked to Simmons' site. But, like me, he's had enough, and now simply reads him to see the inevitable train wreck.

 

Simmons is and has always been a little winey frat boy bitch.