Guilty pleasures or just guilty feelings?

Don't we have a separate thread for that kind of joy?

 

not anymore, I don't think.

 

Dude, you got a DVR with your cable. I just got cable for the first time too, but I wasn't ready for the DVR.

Oh, and why even use paper towels with your sandwich. Just eat it over the trash can. No need to kill a paper towel for just a sandwich.

 

Carry on then. Don't wanna be a killjoy. But would like a donut or three. Those chocolate glazed ones.

Edit: My trash can is usually overflowing (hi, IJAG), and I usually eat two sandwiches at a time, so I don't wanna stand there too long when the couch is only feet away.

Between my laptop and cable with DVR, I may never sleep again.

 

(Takes a deep breath)

I may be the biggest fucking slob on the board, well, before I left my old apartment.

The place was such a shithole -- $250 monthly rent, numerous rat sightings, ripped carpet. Hell, the redneck landlord basically bragged about the previous tenant being raped in the place. Needless to say, the conditions weren't conducive to didn't deserve cleaning.

So, I didn't. At all.

Pizza boxes were left on the kitchen floor, and after a year or so, reached the ceiling. Um, I really like pizza. Before I finally moved out in November, I lugged SEVEN trashbags full of cardboard to the dumpster.

My living room floor was scattered with beer and pop bottles. I rarely cleaned my shower. My gas was shut off for six months. Water for a while, too. I took showers at a truck stop for three weeks, but made the mistake of peeing in a toilet I knew wouldn't flush. Again and again. After a week, I finally closed the bathroom door.

The last thing I did before moving out was empty a piss-filled toilet, with a soup ladle, into a plastic container. It -- like the pizza boxes -- eventually found the dumpster.

My new place is clean. Includes utilities, too. Really.

Fuck. I should have wrote about my Air Supply CD instead.

 

We have a winner!

 

What do I win?

 

I'm gonna have to go throw up now.

 

I call bullshit.

There is NO WAY you could live in that squalor. None.

I used to be a fuckin slob in my old apartment, and you make me look like I had OCD.

And that line about the ladel is the grossest thing EVER.

 

I should probably stop reading this thread while I'm eating.

 

I never put DVD's back in a case. I always have stacks of DVD's everywhere just waiting to be watched. I have all the cases, but they're empty so when I'm looking for a particular movie, I usually have to scream because I can't figure out which stack contains said movie.

 

If you're gonna feel the guilt anyway, you might as well enjoy the sin. Jesus H. Christ, that Catholic indoctrination comes in handy sometimes.
Twenty Lord's Prayer, 15 Hail Marys and 10 Acts of Contrition, motherfucker.