Growing up too fast...

Right there with you, GBNF. I don't think preferring a more sedate social life is necessarily a sign one is growing wizened beyond their years. Maybe having that relatively long-term girlfriend just showed you that you can enjoy these years without joining the party scene. Why put up with all the posturing, teasing and nonsense that comes with that life when you know you can be just as happy without it?

 

I feel more lonely and out of place at a party or crowded bar than anyplace else. Always have. Even at age 18.

Of course, maybe the fact that I drink nothing stronger than Pepsi contributes to that.

I'll take making popcorn, curling up next to my SO and watching a DVD 100 times out of 100.

 

I dig bars, but there's a happy medium. I don't like a place where I'm the only hard-dick in the joint, and I don't like it where you have to wait an hour to fight your way to the bar and some a-hole has spent $20 in the jukebox to play the entire Twisted Sister discology.

 

I'm more of a pub than club guy, mainly because I loathe the shitty music played in most clubs, to say nothing of the posing and lechery.

I'm ambivalent about the party and nightlife scene. It can be fun or it can be an alientating and wallet-draining experience. I spent my early 20s in Austin, which was a blast, but by the time I was about GBNF's age, I was already weary of shallow hedonism and the way live music is a religion in that town. There's so much live music in Austin that it's almost oppressive- seems like at night, every coffeehouse and bar has some loud, often crappy band making conversation impossible.

Anyway, I really enjoy a night out with a date or a small group of friends. Great music, whether live or on the jukebox, is always welcome. But I hate it when things get too crowded and I hate throngs of pretentious assholes- whether they're yuppies or hipsters.

Bottom line for me, partying adds some nice spice to life, but it makes a poor centerpiece for one's existence. It's one of those things that's cool when you're 25 but lame when you're 45. To everything, a season.

 

My situation pretty much mirrors BYH's. If you were to add up all the alcohol I've had in my life, it probably wouldn't amount to as much as some here drink on weekends. In five years of college, I just never saw the appeal of it all. Besides, I was working several jobs and already living with a girlfriend by the time I was 20, so on top of lack of interest, I had no time. All these years later, I can't remember the last time I was in a bar.

 

When I saw this I thought it would be about situations like my niece's, the sweet baby who, somehow, has already graduated from high school, and way before I was ready.

As for howling at the moon, some people move past it quickly. Some never do.

 

I knew I was getting old when my friends were going to a bar and I said not a place that's too loud. I was 27, Jesus. It's like a shirt Weezer had out: "If it's too loud...we'll turn it down."

I did my fair share, and then some, of partying. In bars, wherever. I never liked the meat markets, but a good local watering hole with a jukebox was fine with me.

And I still like to go out and knock back a few, but with a kid and wife, it's more stay at home and relax now. Like others, I'm old boring married guy.

 

This is permanent, though, right?

 

It was May 2002. I was 26. The party ended. I got my first "real job" halfway across the country. My now-wife moved with me.

We didn't know anyone. And the partying just stopped. Oh, sure, her and I would have a beer with dinner — maybe a couple of beers with dinner. But we were both HUGE partiers in college. Hell, I was a bartender. She was a patron. The party never stopped. But once we moved in together it did.

And the thing is I lost weight, saved money, learned more about my wife. It was awesome.

Now we're back closer to home and I go out about four times a year with "the boys" — opening day, an NFL trip, maybe a stag or birthday party. It feels good to cut loose about that often. Anything more and I'd be tired of it quickly.

 

People grow up at their own pace.

I recall a conversation I had with a guy in college a few weeks back. He told me about the maxim that college is supposed to be the best years of your life. He then said, "you're living it now, several years after you left."

I never really had much of the college experience when I went to college. That was par for the course when I was growing up: Being made to grow up too fast. I feel as though I'm playing catch up in a way.

Hopefully, I'll get that out of my system soon enough. But some people are just not into the party scene while others are. If everyone were the same, life would be pretty boring.

 

I still like to go out every now and then and get hammered. But that's talking two or three times a year. And goodness knows how many times I've turned down invitations to go drinking. Mainly, it's because my body can't handle hangovers and to me it's not worth getting up the next day feeling like that with three kids.

I had my fun in college with the booze. I still like to have fun, but there is plenty of ways to have fun without a sip of alcohol.

 

I, too, live in a "party" city, GB, and I'm about a year ahead of you in pretty much the same situation -- single, for years, very few friends around town and with parties all around me. And I've got no desire to join them, either. I want that boring-night-in-with-the-girlfriend that I used to have in high school or college.

I used to drink all the time in college -- I had a streak of 756 consecutive days with having at least one beer -- and I rarely missed a part on Friday or Saturday unless I was working. I loved a good house party or a night out at the college bar (just one bar in my college town) with good friends and the lady on my arm -- and me on her shoulders on the way back home. And I'd still like to have one of those nights every once in a while. But I'd much, much rather lay on the couch with the girl's head resting on my stomach, just stroking her hair while watching Billy Madison; you know, a romantic night in -- of course.

I don't think it's a matter of growing up too fast. My friends are engaged or in serious relationships -- five and six years, some of them -- and I want that, too, really badly. I think if the bar life, and the fun that went along with being 21, has run its course, and this is a natural thing for most people.