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Grimsley names Clemens

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by Day Tripper, Sep 30, 2006.

  1. BYH

    BYH Active Member


    I apologize to the woman whom I swapped spit with a few minutes ago. But, you know, in a time of unspeakable joy such as this, the heart leads one to do wacky things.

    I'm Casey Kasem and here's the countdown of the top three moments in BYH's life.

    3.) Dropping one spot from last week, it's when his sister had a healthy baby boy. His nephew turns three this week, and to wish him a happy birthday, BYH sends out this long-distance dedication: Rod Stewart's "Forever Young." Which BYH is not.

    2.) Also dropping one spot from last week: After more than four years atop the chart, it's when he got married to an incredibly patient woman. They're still very much in love and it took quite an event to knock this off the top. It was quite a run at the top for the Hacks, exceeded in the history of charts only by "You Light Up My Life," which enjoyed a 12-year run atop the adult contemporary chart in the '70s and '80s.

    1.) And the new number one...a chart debut: Today, when Roger Clemens was exposed as a steroid-using freak.

    Wow, Clemens on the juice! Who woulda thunk it, with the guy growing tree trunks for legs, throwing bats at grown men and carrying a 2.30 ERA into his mid-40s. I thought that was completely natural!!!

    And Pettitte, what a shock. All he ever did was follow Clemens around like a lapdog. I guess that's where the extra MPH on the fastball came in his late 20s and early 30s, huh? All those workouts with Clemens?

    Glorious day. I guess this means maybe the world-class ass will finally retire for good? So he can avoid his second first steroid suspension? Or maybe he'll just happen to come back next year 101 games into the season.

    Screw you Roger. Fucking beautiful day. Jason Grimsley is my new favorite player.
  2. DyePack

    DyePack New Member

    It's still an informant's word against the president's. [/alhaig]
  3. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    It's gonna be a four-second night!
  4. Double Down

    Double Down Well-Known Member

    I, for one, believe we need to take Clemens at his word. He is clean in my eyes. [/LeBatard]
  5. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    "Hey Roger have you ever taken steroids?"

    "Next question!"
  6. indiansnetwork

    indiansnetwork Active Member

    Maybe, Clemens wasn't really retiring all those times. Maybe, MLB told Roger to take some time off so he could avoid being tested for steroids or suspected of using HGH. Sort of like when Michael Jordan had a gambling problem and the NBA forced him to retire for two years to clean himself up. This is the sort of thing the major sports leagues will do for their stars. Mainly they protect the player for the interest of the league.
  7. mojo20205

    mojo20205 Member

    For being that old, throwing that hard, and being in that good a pitching shape, I wonder why this didn't come out sooner from an MLB vet.

    Clemens as been annointed as a pitching saint because he never hit the age wall that his peers did. Did we not see these allegations coming?

    He is the greatest of our time.

    Hopefully the juice is just a rumor, but I think it's a very real possibility.
  8. Starman

    Starman Well-Known Member

  9. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    But Star, whatever do you mean? :D :D
  10. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Clemens has also had an awful face lift?
  11. Trey Beamon

    Trey Beamon Active Member


    Awful is putting it mildly...
  12. Shaggy

    Shaggy Guest

    Great work. We knew this was coming, and the LA Times wins the race.
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