Greatest Obit Ever

I was drunk the day my mom got outta prison, Cranberry. And I went to pick her up in the rain.

You wouldn't believe it, but before I could get to the station, she got runned over by a damned old train.

True story.

 

Wowsers.

 

I don't know which is better, the story or the avatar...both absolutely fantastic.

 

I'm always skeptical of the obits that say the dead dude was "loved by all." Oh, really? He wasn't a prick to somebody? He didn't love one kid more than the other, and the others knew it? He couldn't be an absolute asshole who took pleasure in others' misfortune? Really, "loved by all"? No fucking way.

When I die, I want them to prop me in the corner and everybody get up and tell all the bad shit I did in my life. Should last a good two hours or so. What the fuck do I care? I'm dead. And they're drunk. Good for all.

 

I wonder how long it takes for someone to mention, 'Wore leather pants.'

 

Depends on whether any SportsJournalists.com compatriots are there. If so, in the first five comments. Otherwise, eh, not so much.

 

It did have Mama, though.

 

Well, here's a guy from Puerto Rico that was propped up in the corner:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080820/ap_on_fe_st/puerto_rico_standing_wake;_ylt=AizqPL9X6Hrl13vvHdRe0_7tiBIF



How do you say Weekend at Bernie's in Spanish?

 

You would take the time to ask each and every family member if they agreed? There are like six siblings listed, not to mention aunts and uncles and kids!
That's a lot fo work for a paid obit.
You are far more dedicated to that than I.
I'd spike it and move on.

 

Honestly. What the hell is Zangief doing to that poor kid?

 

If they don't like it, they can write their own damned paid obituaries! More money for us!