Greatest movie/TV insults of all time

Checking in the man card quoting "Fried Green Tomatoes"

Evelyn Couch: Hey! I was waiting for that spot!

Girl #1: Face it, lady, we're younger and faster!

[Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times]

Girl #1: What are you *doing*?

Girl #2: Are you *crazy*?

Evelyn Couch: Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance.

 

"You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole."

"I seen yo momma kicking a can down the street. I said, ‘what you doing?’ She said, ‘moving’.”

 

"You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history."

 

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I never forget a face. But in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

 

"Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!@kless, hopeless, heartless, fat-@ss, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey s@!t he is. Hallelujah. Holy s@!t. Where's the Tylenol?" - Clark Griswold

 

"How do you not fall down more?"

 

Oh, the multitude to pick from ...

“You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling?"

"You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow."

"Even if I were blind, desperate, starved and begging for it on a desert island, you'd be the last thing I'd ever f*ck."

"I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon."

"Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

AND MAYBE THE BEST ...

“It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!”

 

Tanner, although is that more of a hate-filled rant?

 

"Yeah, well the Jerk Store called. They're running out of you!"

 

Harry: Personnel? That's for assholes.
McKay: I was in personnel for 10 years.
Harry: Yeah.

 

Steve Martin in Planes, Trains & Automobiles

nsfw