Greatest Drunk Ever

Hoe-lee shit, that is hilarious!

 

I voted Hemingway, but I wish I could change my vote since he eventually blew his head off. It is more impressive when the great drunkards of our time live to be 95.

 

Joe Namath.

 

Well, I meant off-stage, too, but I read that book so many years ago that I'll defer to your info.

 

Shane Freakin' McGowan. Either that or some dude I went to college with who drank a fifth of vodka every day after studying and going for his jog. He's dead now of course.

 

Bill Brasky.

 

Charles Bukowski

 

F. Scott.

 

I believe it was indeed somebody's shrewish wife. Another one once told him that if she were his wife, she'd give him poison. He replied that if he were her husband, he'd take it. Classic. ;D

I forgot about Andy. Yeah, he's the best.

I call bullshit on the wife-beating part, though, because Flo pretty much always came out on top during their battles. She's a tough old bird. ;D

 

Ned the wino from Good Times. He once posed as Jesus for a painting by J.J. that proceeded to bring the family good luck.

 

I have a friend I've known thirty years. The first time I ever saw him he was falling out of a van at about 8:00 am, stumbling drunk, not from the night before, but already drunk again after waking. He soon got kicked out of school for mistaking someone's room (and their bed) for a urinal. Ran into him again a few years later. He was briefly sober after what he called the "two years I never brushed my teeth," when for all intents and purposes he lived in the streets, as down and out an alcoholic as imaginable, hustling for spare change. How bad? He soon started drinking again and sonce called me up from the local ballpark, drunk, couldn't find his seat, wanting to know if I had any booze. When I said I didn't, he asked for aftershave lotion. I was fresh out of that, too.

He's never, ever, ever ever stopped drinking since then. I don't think he's ever gone 12 hours without a drink, but it has been a long long time since I've seen him falling down drunk or slurring his words or appearing drunk. No DUI's, no jail, no bad health, no bad temper. One divorce, but she was certifiable, and is now on mental health disability, and he's happily remarried - she hardly drinks at all. He simply maintains, puts every other drunk I've known to shame. If he ever wrote a book, no one would believe it.

He went to law school about ten years ago while working fulltime. Passed the bar in his first try. Now he's an attorney.

Must be the genes. He's a champ.