Greatest Drunk Ever

Churchill was scolded for drinking once and his reply was along the lines of "I may be drunk now, but I'll be sober in the morning, and you'll still be ugly."

Billy Martin once fought a marshmellow salesman in a bar. Went to court over it. The guy got cut pretty bad.

EDIT: I remember the Churchill line being said to the wife of a government official who didn't care for him. If it was said to a young lady, well that's mean-spirited and changes things.

 

Riddick is right.
Bill "The Fox" Foster on The Man Show.
Ziggy Socky, Ziggy Socky, Hoy, Hoy, Hoy!
Chugged one, chugged another.
Then he died. Probably while drinking.

 

Didn't the marshmallow salesman fight cost Number One his job? He lost it seven times, I'm sure if I pick a random event in the 70's or early 80's, there's a better than even chance it led to his firing.

 

I don't know if Norm should be on there. Sure, he drank constantly but we never saw him drunk at Cheers. I think he'd win "Greatest Barfly" but we're lacking evidence of his drunkeness.

 

Peter O'Toole told the story once of a time when he and a friend stopped a pub on their way home from a night of getting shitfaced. After a drink or two there, the bar owner cut them off saying they'd had too much to drink. So Peter O'Toole said he'd buy the bar and wrote out a check.

The next day he went back and the owner let him off the hook, but still, it takes a special kind of drunk to try to buy a bar so he can keep drinking.

 

Speaking of Mickey and Billy, didn't they concoct some ultra-proof drink called Breakfast of Champions? I seem to recall this from the coverage of Billy's death.

 

Oh, Andy Capp, you wife-beating drunk!

 

I would nominate Shane McGowan, but for me it's Deano.

"They named some of the suites...and the one for Dean it's just gutter-to-gutter. He likes it that way. You see, Mr. Martin falls in the street a lot."

"If we ever develop an Olympic drinking team, he's gonna be the coach."

 

Poe agreed to front a textbook about shellfish for 50 bucks worth of drinking money.

 

Dylan Thomas.

 

World-class.

And according to Nick Tosches' (I think?) great bio of Martin, it was just an act.

 

On Stage, it was. Before and after, not so much.