Great pranks

I KNOW you ain't talking 'bout my momma.

 

Get it right. It was smeared dog shit on someone elses hand.

 

there's a large convent, the home base for this particular order of nuns, where i grew up. the property is huge and the nuns of this order live there when they retire. there's a guard on duty at night and in high school, we used to get the guard to chase us in his car (we were on foot running all over the property, through the woods, etc) because we were trespassing. it was harmless fun. we never caused any destruction. every now and then, the guard would call the cops and that upped the ante when the cops got in on the chase.

on the property is a retreat house and there's a half-mile road that leads from the big nun house to the retreat house. there's also a gate at both ends of this small road. we hatched a plan. we went to k-mart and bought some chains and locks. at one of the road, we shut the gate and locked it with our chains and lock. then we went and told the guard that some kids were making a bunch of noise halfway down the road, bothering our mom who wasn't trying to sleep. we had two guys stationed but hiding at the other gate. when the guard passed that gate in his car, the two guys ran out and locked that gate. the guard started to figure out what was happening, but it was too late.

he got out his car as we were running away, yelling "you sons-a-bitches, i'm gonna get you someday."

our high school also had a tradition of solid, funny underground newspapers, and we started one when we sophomores called 'pravda' that caused an uproar among teachers/administrators for the next three years. we used to break into school a few nights before the release of an edition and put up signs in the hall that read "pravda coming thursday." i still have some of the issues and get a kick out of them. we were funny sometimes. sometimes we were mean. and sometimes we did a solid job of skewering the appropriate folks. it was sort of like 'the onion' of our high school in the mid-, late-80s.

 

During my junior year of high school, a morning talk show had a guy who ran a website that collected old high school yearbooks of celebrities. The guy claimed he would pay top dollar for rare yearbooks he didn't already have. So knowing that perpetual whiner/asshole/angry old man Andy Rooney attended our school years earlier, my friends and I headed to the library and gained possession of the only yearbook left from his year. It netted us $300 and funded a huge blowout that weekend.

Three years later, I ran into Rooney at a restaurant and did my best to be genial and polite. I thought he might be warm and accepting to a fellow alumn who was breaking into the same field that has been his life's work for the last 60 years. I even thought it might be a good networking opportunity. Though everyone else at the table was extremely friendly, Rooney confirmed my earlier suspicions. I felt the urge to tell him about the yearbook but never did.

A better one came from a guy from my fraternity. When he was in high school, his friends left a box of Dunkin Donuts in the faculty lounge on the second to last day of school. It contained a note with something like "Dear Faculty, thank you for all the hard work and devotion you've brought to us over the past four years. We'll really miss you...the Seniors." The next day the faculty found a similar Dunkin Donuts box on the table in the lounge. But this time the box contained Polaroids with several giddy graduates wearing nothing but donuts.

 

This was two-part prank:

Sophomore year, my roommate comes back to the room drunk with some girl. I'm stuck outside waiting for them to "finish." When she finally leaves, and roomie is passed out drunk, we go to work. We get some condoms, women's underpants (from a cooperative female friend) and some creme rinse. We strategically place everything and I go to bed.

Next morning, roomie wakes me up and demands to know what happened. "Don't you remember," I said, "you screwed that cheerleader last night. You guys were going at it for a couple hours." He thought I was referring to the girl he did screw, so I said "No, AFTER her. This cheerleader came by. I just got to bed a couple hours ago."

So Roomie is pissed that he can't remember "the best sex I ever had." We had the previously mentioned female friend call him a couple days later, complaining that he hadn't called. He whined about not remembering it for days.

Eventually we fessed up on this. But this guy is VERY gullible, so we had another go. A couple weeks later, we had a girl call him and say she's the first girl that he'd banged that night, that she was pregnant and that he'd have to do the right thing. He panicked and had everything he owned packed into his car and was about to leave for Canada when we told him he'd been had again.

 

On April Fool's Day one year, my roommates blended up some mayo and tuna fish to make it look like toothpaste and then stuffed into my tube. It was close in color, but just off enough that I thought something was wrong with it and threw it out. So they didn't get me on that one, but I think it would work on someone not as observant. They also put some raw fish under the backseat of my car. Took a day or two, but the smell was eventually pretty horrible.

As retaliation, I emptied one guy's shampoo (which was some herbal shit his girlfriend liked that had "beads" of some kind it. Anyway, it was white with these little black spots in it) and replaced it with ranch dressing. He didn't notice until he put it on his head that it had a funny smell and then realized what was up.

The other guy, I waited five months to get back. After that incident, he always locked his bedroom door, so I couldn't mess with his room. Well, one weekend that summer, his girlfriend was coming up from school for the weekend. When he went to pick her up at the airport, I went upstairs to my friend Amber and asked her for a pair of her panties (got a strange look until I explained what was up). I then took said panties and put them on the end of a coat hanger and slid them under the door into his bedroom.

The "WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE?!" I heard from the bedroom after my roommate and his girl got home was priceless. Took a lot of convincing that I was just playing a practical joke.

 

You should have just spooged in his shampoo. That would have shown him.

 

OK, once in high school a couple of buddies and I bought a bag of sweet potatoes.

Went to school, loitered outside a girls' bathroom until we were sure nobody was inside and nobody was around.

Snuck in, dumped (so to speak) some of the taters in each of the three toilets.

Kind of discreetly hung around outside until girls started going in and coming out (fairly quickly), and watched the merriment ensue.

(It was a youthful, innocent time)

 

I once left a fish in the teachers' lounge refrigerator of my high school. A whole fish, just in a plastic sack with a note that said, "Tuesday's lunch," and an illegible signature.

Dropped it off Saturday evening and they finally tossed it Thursday afternoon.

Not much of a prank, but it was amusing.