Great pranks

Our cops reporter once asked if the managing editor was in.

I replied, in his voice (I do the best impression in the office of him), "No. I've gone to lunch. I'm not here now." Not quite listening, she said, "When are you going to be back?" to gales of laughter.

 

Do we count T.C. Cameroon as a prank? Joke, yes. But what about prank?

 

There's been a sighting!

 

A little band humor for you all...

I played trumpet when I was in high school, and our section leader was a dick. To retaliate for him being better than the rest of us (and knowing it,) we would wait until he left the room and them switch the valves. Doesn't sound like much, but the valves are specific: One, two and three. If they are mixed, it's like trying to blow air through a brick wall.

We did this one time, and as he tried to forcefully blow into the trumpet for a solo that kicked off a song, not a whisper came out of the other end and he nearly dropped the instrument on the floor. I'm not sure who was more red: the section leader from the effort, or me from laughing.

 

During a church outing at a beachhouse in Galveston, I saran-wrapped a toilet seat and the next unfortunate user decided to do a No. 2, not a No. 1.

 

This reminds me of "shit fog." Leave a particularly smelly dump unflushed then turn the hot water in the shower on full blast. The steam will carry the odor throughout adjoining rooms areas.

 

I don't need hot water for that to happen!

One of the funner professional pranks I saw I wasn't involved with.

Friend of mine wrote a feature with a really fucked up lead he meant as a joke for our editor to read. He also wrote a real one for the paper. Well the editor realized what was going on, but later my friend called up to see if what he thought about the fake one.

The editor told him he thought is was a strang elead, but he went with it anyway. He tried to get the papge changed and everything, but we told him it had already plated. We kept the gag going all night and he was about ot shit a brick. He didn't realize until the next morning.

And I like the piss-puck idea.

In college we did flip a guy out of the top bunk of his bed. He just yelled when he fell on his desk. I didn;t think 8 people could fit through a doorway at once, but somehow we did.

 

I once sent a young soldier to the end of a runway carrying flashlights (with translucent cones attached to the ends) and told him to direct incoming aircraft to another runway. Good times, there.

Being in the security business in the service, my co-workers and I had our fair share of boring days. It was always fun to have some FNG (fucking new guy) go out and check the perimeter alarms by jumping up and down, flapping his arms, running into the fence, etc., while we were recording it for playbacks during briefings.

But the best prank I've ever heard was one in which I had NO part.

Rookie joins the MP unit. He's detailed one evening to sweep the building, take out the trash. You know, shit that privates do. In the old days, the K-9 officers used blank amunition to familiarize the dogs to gunshots.

So, the shift supervisor told the new kid to take off his gun belt, put it on the table and sweep the building. He did, and the shift sup, grabbed the kid's weapon and put blank rounds in it.

Of course, a call comes in about a "suspicious" person at the off-post park for which the unit is responsible for patrolling. When they arrive at the park, the supervisor begins to slowly approach the "suspicious person," who pulls a gun and "shoots" the supervisor. Of course, the kid draws his weapon and begins to fire blanks at the "suspicous person," who keeps coming and keeps "firing."

The kid was so shaken that he had to be taken to the mental facility and was later discharged.

 

the saran wrapped toilet--an all time classic.

One of the better ones I remember was from my college frat days---we took one of our buddies about a mile and a half away from the house off campus, took his clothes and left him in his underwear by the side of the road. With ten pennies (a pay phone call cost 10 cents in those days). He made it home no problem--started walking and eventually hitched a ride with someone who brought him back. Still one of my very good friends today a quarter century later.

And for a real trick, go to any fast food drive thru, or hell, any retail establishment anywhere, and offer up payment in an amount to get you a round amount (no pennies) back in change---after they've already rung the straight dollar amount into the register. For example, say it's 3.69 for your happy meal, give them $4.04 or $4.09. Watch the steam come out of their ears and the chipmunks turn their brain as they try to decipher what change you're actually due. Oh the hilarity!
(Warning, though--always be careful what you get back--they're as likely to shortchange you as either get it right or over pay you).

 

Back when I was in college, I helped a friend get a summer job as a cook at the restaurant I worked at. Cooks always changed into whites before their shift, leaving their regular clothes in the back supply room. At the end of one rather grueling Saturday night, I returned to get dressed, only to find that my friend has slipped out earlier to dunk my blue jeans into a buck of water. He then set them up in the freezer, leaving me with a frozen pair of jeans (they were actually standing up in the middle when I opened the door). I vowed revenge.

Fast forward two months to the second week of school and we went out to celebrate his 22nd birthday at the corner bar. One by one, the four girls that he was "kind of" dating showed up and took their place around the table. The first two were oblivious to the connection and when the third came in, they started to wonder. The fourth girl put it over the top and they started to compare notes about my friend. At one point during this process, my friend looked at me and said, "Let me guess, this is paybacks for the pants?" I shook my head in agreement. "I will never fuck with you again," he added.

 

Hell, even if you give 'em odd change before they plug in the numbers, they give a blank, dumb-founded look.

 

Innocent kid went nuts because of a firearm... yeah, good times!