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Great, great feature, and a perfect example of interjecting "I" into a story

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by GBNF, Dec 30, 2007.

  1. GBNF

    GBNF Active Member

    Take a look:

    He barely talks to Clark, but because of his research and prior knowledge of the subject, he pulls it off...

    Belongs in BASW if ya ask me...

    http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/content/nc/news/single-story/article/the-long-fall/
     
  2. pallister

    pallister Guest

    "facing prison time and alcoholism" -- how do you face alcoholism?
     
  3. JLawson

    JLawson Member

    I don't agree. This story is so long and bogged down with the author's words that I was bored. It may be good writing, but it is essential to have some quotes.
     
  4. fishwrapper

    fishwrapper Active Member

    Yeah. I struggled with it a bit, too.
    It's not that I felt it lacked anything. It just felt I was reading in a Lunesta fog not sure of direction, motive or point. I suppose if I had a connection to Keon Clark, that may help. But, being neither from Las Vegas, Danville or interested in a fringe NBA player may of lost me from the genesis. The piece could have used some serious tightening.
     
  5. GBNF

    GBNF Active Member

    This is interesting. I have no ties, either, but I found the story compelling.

    That brings me to another point: Is great writing subjective?

    I've forwarded my dad — an avid reader, btw — a Posnanski feature that I thought was awesome and he hated it. He wasnt a huge fan of the Pete Carroll Moehringer piece, either.

    Hmm.
     
  6. Norman Stansfield

    Norman Stansfield Active Member

    I read it all the way through and thought it was decent, but that's because I followed Clark at UNLV and always thought he could've/should've been better than he was.

    That being said, it was a tad long and overwritten, and I didn't like how he tied his alcoholism into things toward the end, when he was talking to Bayno.

    But overall, a real solid piece, IMO.
     
  7. GBNF

    GBNF Active Member

    Norman, just wondering, but what's overwritten IYO?

    I'm having a hard time myself with staying away from overwriting, so I always try to stop it...
     
  8. Norman Stansfield

    Norman Stansfield Active Member

    I glossed over some of the background stuff when he was in Danville.

    Setting the scene is important, of course, but I think he just took it a bit too far.
     
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