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Great, great feature, and a perfect example of interjecting "I" into a story

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by GBNF, Dec 30, 2007.

  1. GBNF

    GBNF Active Member

    Take a look:

    He barely talks to Clark, but because of his research and prior knowledge of the subject, he pulls it off...

    Belongs in BASW if ya ask me...

  2. pallister

    pallister Guest

    "facing prison time and alcoholism" -- how do you face alcoholism?
  3. JLawson

    JLawson Member

    I don't agree. This story is so long and bogged down with the author's words that I was bored. It may be good writing, but it is essential to have some quotes.
  4. fishwrapper

    fishwrapper Active Member

    Yeah. I struggled with it a bit, too.
    It's not that I felt it lacked anything. It just felt I was reading in a Lunesta fog not sure of direction, motive or point. I suppose if I had a connection to Keon Clark, that may help. But, being neither from Las Vegas, Danville or interested in a fringe NBA player may of lost me from the genesis. The piece could have used some serious tightening.
  5. GBNF

    GBNF Active Member

    This is interesting. I have no ties, either, but I found the story compelling.

    That brings me to another point: Is great writing subjective?

    I've forwarded my dad — an avid reader, btw — a Posnanski feature that I thought was awesome and he hated it. He wasnt a huge fan of the Pete Carroll Moehringer piece, either.

  6. Norman Stansfield

    Norman Stansfield Active Member

    I read it all the way through and thought it was decent, but that's because I followed Clark at UNLV and always thought he could've/should've been better than he was.

    That being said, it was a tad long and overwritten, and I didn't like how he tied his alcoholism into things toward the end, when he was talking to Bayno.

    But overall, a real solid piece, IMO.
  7. GBNF

    GBNF Active Member

    Norman, just wondering, but what's overwritten IYO?

    I'm having a hard time myself with staying away from overwriting, so I always try to stop it...
  8. Norman Stansfield

    Norman Stansfield Active Member

    I glossed over some of the background stuff when he was in Danville.

    Setting the scene is important, of course, but I think he just took it a bit too far.
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