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God, I wish I had written this

Discussion in 'Journalism topics only' started by Big Circus, Jul 23, 2008.

  1. MartinEnigmatica

    MartinEnigmatica Active Member

    Dammit, Calvin, you beat me to it. I just spent like 10 minutes looking up Corey Hart songs like Boy in a Box and In your soul. I want those minutes back.
     
  2. Mystery_Meat

    Mystery_Meat Guest

    Jesus God, all he did was reference a bunch of lame-ass Corey Hart songs, all but two ones nobody's heard of (Sunglasses at Night, Never Surrender). Name-checking the songs/movies of someone who shares a similar name with the subject of your item is like right off the first page of the playbook of the commentator. That was sub-Simmons bordering on that Family Guy sketch where Gene Shalit mugs Peter, except I don't think it was meant to be lame.

    I do NOT wish I had written that.
     
  3. joe

    joe Active Member

    Posnanski falls in love with himself a little bit at times. As good as he is, he is entitled. Shit, for that "I really didn't need the stew" blog alone, he gets a lifetime pass from me.
     
  4. Calvin Hobbes

    Calvin Hobbes Member

    Sorry, Martin! I owe you one.
     
  5. Rhody31

    Rhody31 Well-Known Member

    Apparently everything anyone writes must be serious. No jokes allowed.

    I thought it was funny.
     
  6. Montezuma's Revenge

    Montezuma's Revenge Active Member

    The only thing funny was how schlocky and hackish it was.

    I'm a big Pos fan, but he whiffed on that.
     
  7. Mighty_Wingman

    Mighty_Wingman Active Member

    Well, as long as no one is being self-righteous and humorless, it's all OK.

    Oh, wait. Damn.

    And yes, the blog entry was funny. If Simmons had done it, I wouldn't be saying it was funny, because Simmons wouldn't have done it as well. It's pretty simple.
     
  8. SportsDude

    SportsDude Active Member

    Simmons wouldn't have done it, period. He would have spent half the paragraph driving home the "Never Surrender" pop culture reference and the rest of it on jokes about what the singer Corey Hart is doing now. It would have been as subtle as a Family Guy episode. He would also never give an athlete credit like this unless he showed up on ESPN News wearing a Cobra Kai gi. I know this is digging up old bones, and I know Simmons "is what he is," but he would never tried to get to know the essence of the athlete, like Pos tried go get to, because he wouldn't have been there in the first place.
     
  9. Monroe Stahr

    Monroe Stahr Member

    Sounds like what Mike Wise wrote the other day about Jason Taylor. Seems to be a lot of man-love going around.

    More Than Just A Pretty Face

    By Mike Wise
    Tuesday, July 22, 2008; E01



    Goodbye, Derek Jeter. Peace out, Tom Brady. I don't want to be you anymore. I have a new man-crush. Someone taller, faster, more handsome and unbelievably polished replaced you, someone who makes the foxtrot more in vogue than the sprinkler.

    Jason Taylor stepped toward the microphone in Ashburn yesterday in a suit of immaculate navy-pinstriped wool and a tie of burgundy sheen. He tried to pass himself off as an ornery sack man, a constant harasser of the quarterback, a six-time Pro Bowler brought in to shore up the Washington Redskins' decimated defensive line.

    He tried so hard.

    But the more the square-shouldered gentleman infused humor with humility -- the more he kept flashing the telegenic smile and saying all the right things about putting football before "Hancock II," about the "privilege and honor" of playing in the NFL, how he planned to make owner Daniel Snyder and executive vice president Vinny Cerrato "look like geniuses" for gambling on a 33-year-old career-long Dolphin who had spent time in Bill Parcells's doghouse -- the more it became clear:

    The Redskins didn't trade for one of the NFL's elite defensive ends Sunday night; they traded for an ambassador, someone who could start the healing for everything that has ailed this franchise.
     
  10. Mighty_Wingman

    Mighty_Wingman Active Member

    Except that Wise's extravagant -- nay, creepy -- praise isn't wrapped in a clever conceit like Posnanski's.
     
  11. Mystery_Meat

    Mystery_Meat Guest

    So if I didn't think this was funny, I don't have a sense of humor? Referencing Corey Hart songs when talking about Corey Hart the baseball player is old meme; hell, how long have we been putting up with Sunglasses at Night references on SportsCenter? The only thing that paragraph told me is "hey, Poz knows about the Wikipedia." He may well be the greatest blogger EVAR, but this did nothing for me.

    Also, I've got five bucks that says BYH has a paragraph constructed of Night Ranger song titles somewhere.
     
  12. Monroe Stahr

    Monroe Stahr Member

    Extravagant . . . creepy . . . I'll buy that.
     
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