Go To Hell, Subway ...

Second the motion on Jimmy John's. Love the industrial-sized pickles and the massive chocolate chunk cookies. Between JJ's and the various local joints there is no reason to go to Subway anymore.

Piss on McDonald's. In some story after "Super Size Me" came out, the McDonald's flack came off very, very smug when he said "We're just giving the people what they want. What we serve is a business decision." So screw them.

 

I'm that way with the local restaurant near the big university where I get my student writers.

In my case, they don't lose count of my drinks, but I've often found shots magically appear in front of me.

 

Had you stolen the sandwich, you would have earned my Poster of the Year vote. Forever. That would have been awesome.

Instead, you are mediocre like usual. You suck so much you should eat at Blimpies.

 

He would get annoyed if people didn't answer him. He never seemed to understand why we were confused.

 

They don't have wifi in jail.

 

Twice I have been annoyed enough to confront these assholes with this:

"Are you an on-duty air traffic controller?"

"Uh ... no."

"Are you from the future?"

"What?"

"No? Then take that ridiculous fucking thing out of your ear. You look like an idiot. Really, you're so important you can't be bothered to take the time to lift the phone to your ear?"

Both times they just stood there dumbfounded. It helps that I'm not the sort of person you'd be inclined to start a fight with.

 

I'll fight you.

 

Then what have I been doing the last four years?

 

You mean beside disappointing your wife sexually?

 

Dammit, why did it have to be Doc's turn at bat? I'd have hit that sucker a mile.

 

Over the right to be a bluetooth douche?

 

that is awesome ... and i'm going to steal your "are you from the future?" line and use it as my own.