Given free rein, how would you respond?

Ace · Jan 30, 2007

My response would be:

We have had our fill of model students and swimmers who get up at 5 a.m. and practice for three hours before school every day.

No one wants to read that crap. And people with average swimmers and C students will feel unempowered.

If your kid gets arrested, is sexually assaulted by a teacher or loses a limb and still sets a conference record we can talk.

P.S.: We will need photos and the teacher better be one of these hotties.

Columbo · Jan 30, 2007

wisportswriter said:

A note from a reader, names changed to protect the not-so innocent:

I was wondering what a swimmer has to do in order to make the front page of the sports section? Jimmy Butterfly sets two Conference meet records, and the best that the Podunk Times can do is the thrid page of the sports section! I wonder what kind of attention would get paid to any other sport if a Podunk prep were to set a conference record? I would really like to see more equity given, especially to an athlete that not only excells in the pool but also is a model student.

(FWIW, front stories that day were intrastate DI college hoops game, intraregional DI college hoops preview, weekly Sunday showcase feature and city vs. area boys basketball game.)

No repercussions whatsoever for response. If you could speak from the heart, how would you respond?
I open the floor ...
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There is a hierarchy of news value that determines play of stories and photos each day.

Some days a story may be worth 1C centerpiece, on others that same story would go on page 5.

I empathize with your frustration, but that is simply the way it is.

TwoGloves · Jan 30, 2007

I always politely tell people it's the same story whether it's on the front page of the back. Then if that doesn't work, I take a page out of Rambler's playbook and tell them to fuck off.

TheSportsPredictor · Jan 30, 2007

Skinny dip = front page

tyler durden 71351 · Jan 30, 2007

Here's one I got today -- I do an online newsletter and we put up a poll question every other day. Monday's question was who's going to win the Super Bowl -- Bears or Colts?
Some reader sends me an e-mail noting that when I ran a poll on the World Cup, I had a "Who cares" option...guy says the fact I didn't do this for the Super Bowl says a lot about me and how I operate. What, that I like pro football more than soccer. Guilty as charged!

Big Buckin' agate_monkey · Jan 30, 2007

You mean the Bears and the Clots, right?

three_bags_full · Jan 30, 2007

PopeDirkBenedict said:

Lady, if we wrote an article about your kid, no one other than you, your husband and your mother would read it. No one wants to read about some fucker who doggy paddled faster than some other fucker did in 1989. The only reason you want us to write an article is so it can be the centerpiece of some lameass scrapbook you have been putting together about his fucking swimming career. And you know what will happen? We'll do some huge pic of your kid in his swimsuit and our entire readership will find out that your kid is hung like Bob Barker's dog. Do your kid a favor and save him the embarrassment. He'll thank you in three years when he sits you down to tell you that he's gay.
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Damn, PDB. I'm in tears.

Ellis Redding · Jan 30, 2007

three_bags_full said:

PopeDirkBenedict said:

Lady, if we wrote an article about your kid, no one other than you, your husband and your mother would read it. No one wants to read about some fucker who doggy paddled faster than some other fucker did in 1989. The only reason you want us to write an article is so it can be the centerpiece of some lameass scrapbook you have been putting together about his fucking swimming career. And you know what will happen? We'll do some huge pic of your kid in his swimsuit and our entire readership will find out that your kid is hung like Bob Barker's dog. Do your kid a favor and save him the embarrassment. He'll thank you in three years when he sits you down to tell you that he's gay.
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Damn, PDB. I'm in tears.
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So the conversation with your parents was tough?

three_bags_full · Jan 30, 2007

Ellis Redding said:

three_bags_full said:

PopeDirkBenedict said:

Lady, if we wrote an article about your kid, no one other than you, your husband and your mother would read it. No one wants to read about some fucker who doggy paddled faster than some other fucker did in 1989. The only reason you want us to write an article is so it can be the centerpiece of some lameass scrapbook you have been putting together about his fucking swimming career. And you know what will happen? We'll do some huge pic of your kid in his swimsuit and our entire readership will find out that your kid is hung like Bob Barker's dog. Do your kid a favor and save him the embarrassment. He'll thank you in three years when he sits you down to tell you that he's gay.
Click to expand...

Damn, PDB. I'm in tears.
Click to expand...

So the conversation with your parents was tough?
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Man. Tougher than you can ever imagine.

SportsDude · Jan 30, 2007

PopeDirkBenedict said:

Lady, if we wrote an article about your kid, no one other than you, your husband and your mother would read it. No one wants to read about some fucker who doggy paddled faster than some other fucker did in 1989. The only reason you want us to write an article is so it can be the centerpiece of some lameass scrapbook you have been putting together about his fucking swimming career. And you know what will happen? We'll do some huge pic of your kid in his swimsuit and our entire readership will find out that your kid is hung like Bob Barker's dog. Do your kid a favor and save him the embarrassment. He'll thank you in three years when he sits you down to tell you that he's gay.
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I'm going to make this the reply sig on my e-mail at work. That should work well with complaints.

HejiraHenry · Jan 30, 2007

There can be no real winning answer to this, of course.

Wisports will never be able to persuade the swimming parent of the righteousness of his cause.

Swim parents are like that.

But MCSportsGuy probably gets closest to the approach I would take.

outofplace · Jan 30, 2007

three_bags_full said:

Ellis Redding said:

three_bags_full said:

PopeDirkBenedict said:

Lady, if we wrote an article about your kid, no one other than you, your husband and your mother would read it. No one wants to read about some fucker who doggy paddled faster than some other fucker did in 1989. The only reason you want us to write an article is so it can be the centerpiece of some lameass scrapbook you have been putting together about his fucking swimming career. And you know what will happen? We'll do some huge pic of your kid in his swimsuit and our entire readership will find out that your kid is hung like Bob Barker's dog. Do your kid a favor and save him the embarrassment. He'll thank you in three years when he sits you down to tell you that he's gay.
Click to expand...

Damn, PDB. I'm in tears.
Click to expand...

So the conversation with your parents was tough?
Click to expand...

Man. Tougher than you can ever imagine.
Click to expand...

And here I believed you when you said you didn't have a sense of humor.

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