Funny phone call of today

The bolded part fascinates me. You run ALL reader submissions?

 

We run a lot (heavily edited, of course), but not all. Just a way to get youth stuff covered in our paper.

 

RecentAZgrad, please PM me your contact info.

I want to run completely made up information about how at age five I once won the Cub Scout Soap Box Derby and how at age seven I threw a teddy bear 300 yards.

 

No way. Then they call back even more pissed off than the first time. Hell hath no fury....

 

I live for the funny phone call of the day, even if they're not always funny when you take them.

Me: Sports.

Caller: Why didn't you run local ski meet in Sunday's paper?

Me: We did. Photos on 1B and the results on 3B.

Caller: But I live in Colorado and didn't see it on the Internet.

Me: It's there.

Caller: I didn't see it. Can you e-mail it to me?

Me: Are you on your computer now?

Caller: Yes.

I proceeded to direct her to the results, step by step and she found it.

Caller: Oh.

Stupid people are fun.

 

Plus it's annoying as hell hearing someone yell, "hello" from the fax machine.

 

Do you have pictures? We can run it out front.

 

Oh, my.

 

I expect to see them in the next issue. Kthxbye.

 

Haha, that made my day. Thank you.

 

It never made a difference. Certain people would ask to be transferred to "the complaint line" -- as if there were such a thing -- and we'd gladly oblige, with instructions to record their message when they hear the tone.

Once you understand that some people will never be happy, or have a clue, the better your life will be.

 

Recent caller... in your head, read him as an 80+ year old man who has trouble stringing together complete sentences. Because that's what it was.

Me: Sports.

Old dude: Yes?

Me: Sir? Was there anything I can do for you?

Old dude: Yes, there is.

Me: What can I do for you.

Old dude: What?

Me: What can I help you with?

Old dude: Your sports... section... is the worst thing... I've... ever read.

...awkward pause...

Old dude continues: You have... no pages.... and you don't even... report sports.

Me: I can assure you, we had a six-page section today, plenty of local copy, an NBA page and some college basketball results. Plus an agate page.

...awkward pause...

Old dude: Well... I don't... care... about fishing... and you had... a fishing article... today. I... cancelled your service... five years ago.

This continued for at least five minutes before I transfered him to a hapless, unassuming news writer.