Funniest computer term by out-of-touch old fool

Proper style, please.

It's Teh Googles.

 

"Series of tubes," ftw. All the others can be chalked up to confusion while "series of tubes" is so far off base, it's like saying television is taking a picture and breaking it into a million pieces and casting it through the air.

 

I wanted to vote The Google, but this one is priceless: Ted Stevens: "an Internet was sent by my staff"

 

I love Sylvester Croom, but this quote from SEC Media Days made me laugh (and made him smile) when he said it:

"I'm not making excuses, let's make sure you understand that. There were things that myself and my teammates did in college that if these guys did them today, it would be horrifying. But what happens now because of the Internet, all of these different kind of tubes we have on the Internet, all that stuff, I don't totally understand it all (smiling), but the access to the -- the public has so much access to what goes on so much quicker, that a guy in a split second can change his entire course of his life just by a decision that he makes."



Let's see ... there's YouTube ... uh ... what are some of the other tubes?

;D

 

Actually, if you think of "series of tubes" as a metaphor, it's not that bad.

I remember textbooks that explained electrical circuits as being analogous to plumbing networks. Voltage corresponded to water pressure, amperage to rate of flow in gallons per minute, and so on.

I assume that someone tried to use a similar analogy to explain the Internet to the Senator. They pointed out that data doesn't just flow everywhere instantaneously but has to pass through servers, routers, modems, and such. These bandwidth limitations could be thought of as a series of hurdles that the data must pass over in the proper order, or a series of tubes that it must pass through. And depending on its diameter, a tube can pass through only so much data per second.

Because the Senator's concerns had to do with access to limited bandwidth, his "series of tubes" was not an inapt description. That is, as long as he didn't think he was talking about a literal set of pipes crisscrossing the country.

 

I say "the Google" in class everytime I give a 'Net research assignment. "Call up the Google and find...." My students sort of laugh.

 

Bush also had "on the Internets."

"Series of tubes" wins hands-down because it is the iconic out-of-touch computer speech, especially how he leads into it -- that the Internet is "not a dumptruck." EDIT: Also because Stevens has a leadership position on the Senate committee that deals with Internet-related issues.

 

"An Internet was sent by my staff" is good because when you look at the context of the quote, it's pretty obvious Stevens is lying.

 

I really like what Denny Matthews (the Royals Hall of Fame broadcaster) refers to computers as: The Gargle Box. He calls "Google" "Gargle" and thinks that's what you do with them, hence his term "Gargle Box."

 

Ted Stevens is the most literate computer expert out there.

They used that intellect to design the highway to nowhere.

 

I voted for Series of Tubes, but I would really like to give the award to "The Google" and give Stevens the Lifetime Achievement Award for Funny Technological Speak by Old Coots.

 

It's not a big truck.