Funeral coverage

Too overwritten.
If anything, in a situation like this, you should underwrite. The story is dramatic enough...don't try to muck it up by being a sob sister (or mister, lest anyone think I'm being sexist).

 

I think this is a good example of how to cover a funeral:

http://www.oaoa.com/news/cpl_7594___article.html/jones_wednesday.html

 

Wow.

 

Look, I'll never defend bad writing.

But every one of us has a piece we'd beg not to have posted on a message board. Maybe this is his.

 

Stuff like that can make people reluctant to share their writing in the Writing Workshop.

What if this were a SportsJournalists.commer who posted the first story?

 

A fair and decent point.

 

Again, I'm not trying to raise any hackles here.

But this is one of the reasons I've discouraged people from posting secondhand stories they thought were bad or unsatisfactory in the Workhop. Even as examples of what not to do. Even when posted without a byline, it's too easy to Google a writer's identity. And it's really disheartening for young writers to see work getting ripped unconstructively.

I've written more than my fair share of stories that went wrong somehow. Real stinkers. I certainly wouldn't want to see them deconstructed to no greater purpose in a public forum.

On the other hand, if the writer of this story brought it took the Workshop himself, and asked for critiques, he'd get them. And he'd be prepared to get them. And those criticisms would all have to conform to the letter and the spirit of the Workshop.

We've all - every one of us - written stories we're not proud of.

 

I posted it. I apologize. I thought it was poorly written, editorialized, and the writer tried to make sure people made note of who wrote the story, rather than just let the story tell itself.
I thought the use of the Simpson analogy was inappropriate in such a story and I guess I wanted to point out that telling sensitive stories such as this one is an art and this was bad art.
However, I recognize the point you're trying to make. Again my apologies. Moddy, please lock and/or delete this thread.