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From the annals of my spam folder

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by The Big Ragu, Jul 13, 2018 at 2:09 PM.

  1. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    I rarely look in my spam folder, but I just went to empty it and this was the first message. I thought it was awesome.

    FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION <I removed a link so no one clicks on it>

    FROM ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION

    Reply-To: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION <fedralinvestigationoffice1122@gmail.com>

    -----------
    ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION
    FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
    FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
    FBI WEB SITE <REMOVED ANOTHER POTENTIALLY MALICIOUS LINK>
    J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
    935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001

    KIND ATTENTION

    This is not a child play, we are ready to take you to any length if you failed to proof the legitimate of the fund you are about to receive. As a Federal Commission we are here to protect your interest and the interest of all the European State citizens as well as this great Nation. You have been investigated as the beneficiary of the said funds that is why you are in touch with the FBI for a solid proof before the funds will be release to you. The said funds is now in U.S Bank in your name which has been placed on hold under the custody of the FBI for further verification and proof before releasing the fund to you. You do not have this document in your files, if you did the fund would not have been hold. We did not believe this at first, but when we saw the transfer we had no option than to contact you.

    We have gone through your Identification record and also the information’s received from THEcospondent bank, we have verified a lot of things about you. It has come to the attention of our Money Trafficking investigation department, that you have some funds valued at U.S $10 Million to your name, The said payment is awaiting adjudication and crediting to Edward Powell. With full concern of The F.B.I and the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) we wish to remind you of the consequences of remitting such huge sums of money without complying fully with the provisions of the Financial and Allied Matters Decree 5 as amended in sub-section C (6) of 2003, which stipulates that any monitory transaction been done in the United States Of America, must have proper records, which duly guarantees and covers the transaction as legitimate and legally acquired and not criminally or terrorist associated a crime free fund. This is due to ongoing terrorist activities/economic crimes on and against the European countries and American states.

    Note that with the information's we have here, the fund in your name here was release from Federal Republic Of Benin. To this regard you are to contact this office so that they will issue you the required document because this is the only office that have the power to release your fund. You are under an observational /Investigation in connection with money laundering. If your funds comes from a legitimate and legal source, the proper guidelines for you to recover the right of transaction is for you to provide the official monitory transaction release document so that your funds will be legally processed and recorded and accounted for and then finally released to you.

    FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONEY LAUNDERING DEPARTMENT) IS HERE to wipe out terrorism, and will stop at no length in doing our duty for all the European countries.You have 48 hours to contact office to produce legal proof of the below frozen wired transaction number Edward Powell AZQV9007. Edward Powell do not have any rights to receive these funds if the documented legal wire information is not complete.

    For your own good and benefit, you are advice not to send your money to anybody accept the below person that will get the document for you It have come to our notice that you have been dealing with scammers regarding the present transaction in your name, with the power imposed on us as a high Federal Commission, you are hereby warn and instruction to terminate your involvement with any people or individual contacting you regarding this present transaction. The said funds is now in our custody in your name as the beneficiary, your dealings should be channel to this office alone, if we find out you are still communicating with Impostors you will be charge for advance fraud communication by the Federal Law.

    The very heart of FBI operations lies in our investigations--which serve, as our mission states, 'to protect and defend the United States against terrorist and foreign intelligence threats and to enforce the criminal laws of the United States.' So follow our instructions properly.

    We currently have jurisdiction over violations of more than 200 categories of federal law. So you can see that we can track you down through Investigative programs. We have your address and the evidence and status of your wired funds, so we can arrest you anytime anywhere.

    You don't have the required document on your possession, these documents are only to be issue to you from the paying country BENIN, to this regards you are advice to contact this office to give you guide line how to obtain the document
    fro the immediate release of the funds in your name. We have done our verification on your FBI Identification Record with our Social Security Number, the only document left is the required Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) Which should be issue to you from the paying country of the said funds,

    NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for no criminal justice purposes.

    WARNING: failure to produce the above requirement in the next 48 hours, legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and detaining you, justified and if found guilty, you will be jailed. As terrorism, drug trafficking and money laundering. this is a serious problem in our community today. The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and prosecuting any criminal who indulge in this
    criminal act.

    Thanks
    Chary Christopher.

    Ass Director.

    FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
     
  2. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    You know, Ragu, I really want to do something with that thread title. But VB 2.0 prevents it.

    Glad you turned the French maid thing into a good laugh earlier today.
     
  3. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    I kind of figured people would start to read it and think it's just another one of my posts. It's got the length, and the coherence and grammar are not too far off.
     
    Vombatus likes this.
  4. Cosmo

    Cosmo Well-Known Member

    What does one do to become the FBI's Ass Director?
     
  5. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    [​IMG]
     
    Cosmo likes this.
  6. The Big Ragu

    The Big Ragu Moderator Staff Member

    It probably helps if your name is Chary.

    char·y
    ˈCHerē/
    adjective
    1. cautiously or suspiciously reluctant to do something
     
    Cosmo likes this.
  7. Slacker

    Slacker Well-Known Member

    :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2018 at 12:00 AM
  8. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    I’m glad I’m taking up room inside Slacker’s head.
     
  9. Slacker

    Slacker Well-Known Member

    Good one, OOP!
     
    justgladtobehere likes this.
  10. Baron Scicluna

    Baron Scicluna Well-Known Member

    His entrance theme:

     
    Vombatus likes this.
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