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For Your Pondering: Who is SJ.com's biggest hipster?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Norrin Radd, Oct 3, 2012.

  1. Norrin Radd

    Norrin Radd New Member

    I'm not sure, and I have no nominees.

    It just sounded fun.

    Hat tip to Bubbler.
  2. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Fuck you, Norrin, for starting this ahead of me. But since you started it, I nominate ...


    I'm sure there's a bunch of SJ wannabe hipsters who think they've achieved hipster nirvana street cred because they drink PBR in a faux-dive bar while they trash the societal ills of football and college sports, yet secretly like both.

    I'm here to spread the news that you suck out loud and that I'm more hipster than you'll ever be.

    I put the "-ster" in hipster. Why do I not put the "hip-" in hipster? Because I think it sounds forced, douchey and corny to make the double-joke that I'm hipster and hip, while I'm totally self-aware that it's douchey to put that out in the first place.

    The case ...

    1) My taste in music.

    One of the basic elements of being hipster is to believe you're above something. That arched eye-brow when a popular song comes on that drunken morons start grooving to and you hate what it represents. I have it ... in spades.

    It's not always about what a hipster likes -- many of my tastes are in line with everyone else's -- it's what you don't like.

    Namely, as far as SJ is concerned, these turds ...


    Some might say to like Rush is hipster because there's this Rush-nerd sub-culture that embraces it all. I say fuck that. Rush sucks, nerds are nerds and Fly By Night is unlistenable crap. Put on Mott The Hoople's Honaloochie Boogie and we'll be getting somewhere.

    2) My taste in movies.

    The hipster rule of music works inversely when it comes to movies and TV. Camp is king. I could spend an entire day watching this ...


    this ...


    but so as to not to be too campy and to feed my intellectual jones, this ...


    ... and while going out of my way to not watch this ...


    ... even though it might very well be good. But it's not so bad, it's good. Not hipster. I'll catch it on Encore.

    3) Soccer.

    Being a soccer fan is in and of itself, hipster. Following English soccer is a tad more hipster. Having followed English soccer for nearly 20 years makes you hipster emeritus.

    But what takes one to the top of Hipster Mountain is to not only follow English soccer, but to religiously follow a team in The Championship instead of the annointed Premier League.


    (Extra hipster points for posting a logo that was used long before I actually followed the team, or in fact, knew it existed.)

    4) Clothes.

    I admit that this is my hipster blind spot. My style screams "dork" not "hipster".

    I do own not one, but two, Blatz Beer T-shirts, and my favorite T-shirt features the snapping fingers Stax Records logo, so I'm in the game, I just don't play it very well.

    I like to think I should start rocking an Irish tweed cap as my first conscious attempt in my life to have "a look", but have actually only done it once ... in Portland ... where I felt the love of the kindred hipster spirits literally a thousand miles from anyone who could actually see me wearing it.

    On the other hand, not caring about what I wear might just be the epitome of hipster. So there's that.

    Suck it SJ. I out-hipster you all. My crown will be an Irish tweed cap and my robe will be a Stax T-shirt. I will watch TNT Jackson and Death Rides A Horse at my victory party.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  3. Versatile

    Versatile Active Member

    The photo fails are pretty hipster, too. But you're too angry to be a hipster.
  4. Bubbler

    Bubbler Well-Known Member

    Photo fails suck because they show up fine on my machine.

    But I'm too hipster to care.
  5. Norrin Radd

    Norrin Radd New Member

    I'm not a hipster.

    I have a tendency to enjoy things that have become extremely popular.

    My favorite band has pretty much always been Metallica, aside from a couple of years of adoring Van Halen before Kill 'Em All was released. Liked them since I was eight, and when I was 16 they got extremely popular and have largely stayed that way.

    I played soccer as a kid, when like two of my friends played soccer. Now we're no longer holding World Cup qualifiers in junior college stadiums, and ESPN is showing games every week. I guess hipsters sort of think soccer is their sport, but it actually belongs to the posers.

    I never rejected something because it was too popular. I have wondered why certain things are popular (cough, Friends, cough).


    I prefer to think of myself as a cynical a-hole.
  6. spikechiquet

    spikechiquet Well-Known Member

    I'm in the range of hipster I would think...maybe more anti-whatever is popular.
    1) Music: Grew up in the 80s on oldies, switched to Christian metal in high school, got into very underground college stuff as a DJ (while expanding my Christian rock collection) and picked up on Americana/Alt-country with lots of Johnny Cash the last 5 years
    1.5) Beer tastes: Was never a Bud Light/Miller Light person. Started with Labatt's, moved on to Sam Adams a decade plus ago and then started going micro-craft brews the last 5 or so...and started making my own beer 3 years ago.
    2) Movies: I like docs and raunchy comedies...I think I fail on this part
    3) Soccer: I have a modified XBox and it had FIFA 05 on it. I started to play it to see if I could get good at it since I was bored with Madden. Now I cheer for Wigan with a hardcore passion. I picked them because they were one of the worst Premiership teams on FIFA 07.
    Here's my badge:
    <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/db/Wigan_athletic_badge.png">
    4) Clothes: I refuse to wear anything with a company label on it. I am mostly offbeat T-shirts or odd sports ones. I think this past week I have worn these:
    - a Mr. Yuk logo
    - a shirt that says: "Yooper 7 course meal: Six pack and a pasty"
    - a USHL hockey team that no longer exists
    - Christian metal band Tourniquet's 1995 tour shirt for their Vanishing Lessons cd
    <img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tJ_zIRr8CsU/TwEI5CdzzoI/AAAAAAAACX0/zhP4jBWfbEE/s1600/Tourniquet+-+Vanishing+Lessons+-+Front.jpg">
    - a Dr Pepper shirt with a Simpson's "Duff Beer" hat

    So am I hipster-ish? I never really try, but you make me think I might be.
    I will never wear skinny jeans or smoke though...so I think I am on the outside.
  7. Tom Petty

    Tom Petty New Member

    beings i'm from the PN-Dub, i'm feeling pretty confident about this post: versatile's the most hipster cat on this board and he doesn't even know it.
  8. Versatile

    Versatile Active Member

    I like SEC football and Modern Family, unironically. I'm pretty sure I'm ruled out.
  9. Beef03

    Beef03 Active Member

    I probably fall as far into the anti-hipster crowd as one can get. The only part of me that comes even remotely close is my taste in beer, prefering micro brews.
  10. Uncle.Ruckus

    Uncle.Ruckus Guest

    The only correct answer is Zeke.
  11. Zeke12

    Zeke12 Guest

    No outing!

    Also, by nominating himself, Bubbler took himself out of the running -- slyly.

    The only truly defining feature of hipster-dom is denying one is a hipster.
  12. cranberry

    cranberry Well-Known Member

    This indeed brings up a few questions.

    Do true hipsters ever concede conscious thought? Wouldn't that degrade to pretentious every not-so-ironic attempt at being hip?

    And wouldn't that spell doom for the entire Urban Outfitter chain?
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