For my 1,000th post, I'd like to thank the man who made most of it possible

Bitter Matador presents, "Real Men of Genius."

Reeeeeeeeeeal men of geeeeeeeeenius.



Today, we salute you, Mr. Mediocre, dickslap football coach.

(Mister Mediocre, dickslap fooooootball coach!)

Your genius took a 4-7 program and, through weak scheduling, turned them into 7-5 powerhouse. With your guidance, you introduced your fan base to second-tier bowls and losses to teams never heard of before.

(La-la-la-la-lost tah Iowa State, yo!)

And in your one chance a glory, with a Heisman finalist as wideout, you managed to bitch up the season and denied him the ball more than any corner could. Then blamed your failure on the high expectations of the media and a lack of talent.

(Thrrrroooooow the ball to Fitz, bitch!)

So crack open an employment check, Mr. Mediocre Dickslap Football Coach. Without you, we'd never have "Wlat" jokes, "Wlat" song parodies or the word "Wlat" at all.

(Mister Mediocre, dickslap fooooootball cooooooooooooach!)

 

Brilliant!

 

Never saw that post coming.

 

You knew what we wanted, Matador, and you knew expectations were high.

And you came through and seized the opportunity like Steve Young during the 1995 Super Bowl (hi Columbo!).

Outfuckingstanding. It's an honor, sir. And that second pic of Wlat cracks me up every...single...time.

 

Wlat, Wlat, Wlat!

 

much like Florida fans had fireronzook.com I think I need to start hirewlatharris.com. Wlat must be allowed to promote the ideals of the slide play and the quick kick to as many young players and aspiring coaches as possible. We might see a whole new brand of football in 15 years, with two-and-out offensive series the norm along new rules for the swinging gate.

 

Sufferin' succotash !

 

The hate for this man defies my understanding. But I'm enjoying it anyway.

 

Great. Obsessive fanboy shit times 1,000.

 

You and me both. Imagine if he were to ever return to Pitt.