First, there was Romeo and Juliet. Then West Side Story. Now ...

They should announce a press conference where the toddler is to announce his gang choice. The mother can bring him out dressed in Crip colors, but then the father rips off that outfit to reveal his true gang colors.

 

These parents are full of horizon-widening fail. Have they even considered a good biker gang?

Don't sleep on the Hell's Angels or the Outlaws. They make the P-Stones, Vice Lords, Bloods, Crips, Latin Kings, etc., look like amateurs when it comes to moving the hard stuff.

You get the freedom of the open road, your own bar to hang out in, and all the white slavery a man would ever need.

Think people! Blow jobs! Oodles and oodles of head from women who may or may not be the Typhoid Mary's of chlamydia, but who are Rand-McNally when it comes to the erogenous zone of Duff from Guns 'n Roses.

Plus, biker gangs don't think twice about cutting your fucking head off. Rest assured, gang parents, they come strapped!

 

I didn't know that Lou Gramm started up a prison gang.

 

Dear Editor,

I can't believe you did a story on that 4-year-old and the gangs. My 14-year-old has been to juvie four times and not gotten one word written about him. You are keeping him from getting into a good gang like the Hell's Angels!!!

 

MS-13 is plenty of trouble. We have a growing problem with them that is largely unspoken now, but will increase in coming years. I see their graffiti occasionally.

But ...

If you're talking major league, the Zetas make the MS-13s look like a bunch of Single-A scrubs.

They're the ones running the drugs along the border for the cartels and turning Juarez and Piedras into war zones. The Zetas originated with commandos in the Mexican Army's special forces and have military tactical training that the cops won't be able to match once they start moving north.

 

Simon City Royals sounds like a half-ass softball team. They couldn't come up with a better name?

 

Who the hell are the Five Percenters? Is that a gay gang?

ADD: never mind, looked it up. Black Muslim.

 

Orchestra Albany? Do you have to audition?

 

Vermont, according to the website, is the only state in the union that has one gang: Los Solidos.

C'mon Vermonters! Pick up the slack.

 

Buncha fuckin Socialists up there.

 

BYH is in it. He's got a Chess King tattoo on his back.

He also has "B-L-U-E" tattooed on his knuckles. Why? When he's ready to throw down he holds a shiv in one hand and says, "Son, life is simple. It's either cherry red ..."

"Or it's Midnight Blue!"

He then proceeds to get one punch in before being pummeled and violently prison-raped.