Finally, some good news on the medical front

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,352278,00.html

 

Well, I know what I'm doing during my lunch break.

 

Not getting prostate cancer?

 

I've had more than one private physician relay this information to me, without prompting. Have fun -- but I was surprised at such frankness, until I had a moment to reflect, and came to the conclusion that this mode of "preventive
medicine" made a world of sense.

 

I will live forever.

 

It's wise to take healthy living into your own hands.

 

If my math is correct, I'm two-thirds less likely to develop the cancer.

 

If mine is correct I'm 100% safe, but I may go blind.

 

And sex wouldn't?

 

Where do you find time to work?

 

I was coachin' in Omaha in 1948 and Eddie Shore sends me this guy who was a terrible masturbator, you know, couldn't control himself. Why, he would get deliberate penalties so he could get over in the penalty box all by himself and damned if he wouldn't... you know...

 

Now that's a good point. What if you were getting it as often as, say, a serial self-lover? In that case, shouldn't a guy like Ron Jeremy be immune from this disease?