Fighting the fuzz

Did you try telling the officer you had to take a dump? It would have been worth a shot. Worse case, if he's got a heart, he'll write the ticket up faster and you don't have to sit there waiting.

I say go to court with a box of doughnuts. When you're called up, if the cop's not there the case is dismissed. If the cop does show, eat all the doughnuts, and say "Ha Ha piggy! None for you!"

I'm sure that will go over really well.

 

Maybe you could get a deep discount on some real estate in Arkansas.

 

Are you kidding?
That other guy got no love at all, did he?

 

Get a razor. You're a man once you start shaving. You must be the board's youngest poster.

 

Not kidding. I have a long-term infatuation with Erik Estrada (so does my mother, which is probably where it comes from).

Other guy . . .boring blonde guy. Not my type

 

Searching for the swarthy, are we?

 

We like boys with black hair, although we make an exception for Sean Bean.

 

I once got a ticket for going 40 in a 35. I was stopped at a red light at the moment I was pulled over, and I was completely stunned when I realized it was me getting pulled over. Totally thought I was pulling to the side the let the cop pass me.

I did fight that ticket, and got off on the basis of a good driving record, as long as I went two years without another incident, which I did.

Several years earlier, just after graduating college, I got a $150 ticket for speeding in Pennsylvania while on my way to visit my then-girlfriend (now wife). That one I paid, because, well, I was definitely speeding. Actually, I had to borrow the money from my now-mother-in-law because it had to be paid within seven days, and I did not bring a checkbook with me on the road trip. I had only met her mom once before, so I'm sure I was making quite a nice impression in the early going.

 

Why did you slow down and pull over when the cop flashed his lights? That was your first mistake.

Be a man and floor the mother when you see the red and blues! Or, wait till he gets out of the car, and then floor it! They love it when you do that.

Anyone who pulls over when they see the cops is wimp sucker wuss.

 

I loved him ... :'( Blonds are hot.

 

They're sooooooooooooooooo butch.

 

That's some thin ice you're skating on, pal.