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Female Softball Player Comes Out as Straight

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by heyabbott, May 11, 2014.

  1. heyabbott

    heyabbott Well-Known Member

    A college softball player from the University of Texas shocked the sports world today by coming out as a heterosexual.
    In an emotional press conference this morning, Jennifer Ryan, 23, announced that she was a “proud member” of the opposite-sex community. The senior shortstop is believed to be the first and only openly straight women’s softball player in the history of NCAA athletics.

    “I would just like to thank everyone who has supported me through this difficult time in my life,” she told reporters at McCombs Field in Austin. “For years I have known that I was different, but lacked the courage to be open about my lifestyle with family, friends and teammates.

    “Today I would like to tell the world that I am straight. It’s not something that I chose. I was simply born this way. And after years of living in the closet, the time has come for me to start being who I really am.

    “I want to tell every little girl in America: you don’t have to be gay to be an elite softball player. Straight athletes hit just as hard, pitch just as hard, and run just as hard as everybody else.

    “Hopefully my example will inspire other straight softball players to come out from the shadows. We need to stand up and be recognized for the amazing contributions we have made to this sport.”


  2. Uh ... Pic?
  3. Tarheel316

    Tarheel316 Well-Known Member

    Since this is satire, I wouldn't think so.
  4. spikechiquet

    spikechiquet Well-Known Member

  5. jr/shotglass

    jr/shotglass Well-Known Member

    I'm amazed somebody hasn't breathlessly cried foul yet.

    I sure wouldn't, but. :)
  6. spikechiquet

    spikechiquet Well-Known Member

    The writer of this piece and the poster obviously hate "tha gays"
  7. ColdCat

    ColdCat Well-Known Member

    There is no Jennifer Ryan on the Texas softball roster, but here is their senior shortstop Taylor Thom

    The real Jenny Ryan used to play basketball at Michigan. Here she is.
  8. spikechiquet

    spikechiquet Well-Known Member

    And she's Catholic, so no way she's anything but straight!
  9. HanSenSE

    HanSenSE Well-Known Member

    I sense the author is trying to be funny ... but it's not. At least in my book. YMMV.
  10. Smallpotatoes

    Smallpotatoes Well-Known Member

    The Bizarre Show was 30 years ahead of its time:

  11. Jake_Taylor

    Jake_Taylor Well-Known Member

    Brevity is the soul of wit, I heard that somewhere. The headline was kinda funny. Seven paragraphs were not.
  12. jr/shotglass

    jr/shotglass Well-Known Member

    Damn no-delete. ROFL
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