Favorite stock quotes from prep football coaches

Did the coach explain why the kid had to quit football after getting a girl pregnant? I've covered players in the past who had kids by a girl in school and nobody in the community cared.

 

Another favorite is
"We have to take things one game at a time and eliminate stupid penalties if we want to be successful."

 

These are great ... thanks for giving me a good laugh ...

Teams played in scrimmages this weekend, which meant more gems. My favorite: "Well, we had a lot of missed assignments, but the players are very coachable." (they didn't mind us yelling at them for screwing up).

As for the coach who talked about whether his "jokers" could do anything? Well, not such a good first scrimmage for them ... "We've got a lot of things to work on..." Or as on assistant told me: "It is what you saw..."

 

That kid is slower than erosion.

Until he's convicted in a court of law he's still my fullback.

 

"I don't know how many games we'll win this season, but we'll sure be fun to watch"

=

we have two or three kids that would be nice role players on a real team, but they will be repeatedly and mercilessly beaten into the ground on this one.

 

One that is spreading across our area is:
"We need to bring our A game."

The one I eliminate is:
"They're a well-coached team."

 

Not a quote, but does anyone else get annoyed when a team holds up the four fingers for the fourth quarter?
Doesn't every team want to dominate the fourth quarter?

 

I love that, too. Especially since both teams always do it.

Team 1: "Alright guys! Fingers up! We want to dominate this fourth quarter!!!!"

Team 2: "Oh shit. They're doing the fourth quarter thing. Guys, get in here or else it'll look like we don't want to dominate the fourth quarter. Everyone, hurry!!!"

Team 1: "Damn those bastards. They don't want the fourth quarter as much as we do. We REALLY want it!"

Team 2: "EVERYONE. FINGERS. NOW. We REALLY REALLY want it!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

I thought they were tapping into their inner Four Horsemen.

 

Top notch. TOP NOTCH!

 

"We're really going to try and spread the ball around this year."

"This kid's not big, but he has a lot of heart."

"We need to just beat more of those guys we lost to last year, and we'll have a chance."

 

What I loved was the season-opening football game between my two high schools (it was a small weekly) and one coach loved playing the rivalry game (his boys were from the more diverse school) while the other coach (from the more affluent school) detested it.

Coach who loved it: "We've got nothing to lose"
Coach who hated it: "We can't afford to lose"
Coach who loved it: "We're going to put our guys out there and see what happens"
Coach who hated it: "We just want to come out of this game without any injuries"