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Favorite Euphemisms

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by heyabbott, Sep 28, 2006.

  1. micropolitan guy

    micropolitan guy Well-Known Member

    "Suspended for an undisclosed violation of team rules."

    He/she did something illegal and got caught. Take your pick if it was drugs, sexual assault, plain assault, DUII or other alcohol misconduct, or the dipshit flunked out.
  2. HoopsMcCann

    HoopsMcCann Active Member

    probably before caller id

    and i bet jesus knows someone in the phone company who could disguise his number
  3. Killick

    Killick Well-Known Member

    bullshit. i heard he can't even hit a curveball.
  4. heyabbott

    heyabbott Well-Known Member

    "It's just Manny being Manny" is a euphemism for "Dude is retarded but can hit like a mo fo."
  5. Del_B_Vista

    Del_B_Vista Active Member

    Ripped from Yahoo! ...

    Abusing the usual suspect
    Angry fist action
    Answer the bone-a-phone
    Assault on a friendly weapon

    Backstroke roulette
    Baiting your hook
    Ball off
    Batting practice
    Bash the bishop
    Bash the candle
    Beat off
    Beat your hog
    Beating the bait
    Beating the bishop
    Beating the dummy
    Beating the snake
    Beating the stick
    Beating your meat
    Being your own best friend
    Belt your hog
    Blanket drill, The
    Bleed the lizard
    Bleed the weed
    Blessing the alter boy
    Blow Your load
    Bludgeon the beefsteak
    Bop the baloney
    Bop the boa
    Bop the hog
    Boppin' your bologna
    Box the Jesuit
    Boxing the clown
    Buckin' it
    Buffing the banana
    Buffing the wood
    Burping the worm
    Bust a nut
    Butter your corn

    Cajun clown f@cking
    Calling down for more mayo
    Calling genie
    Cast off
    Chafing the weasel
    Changing your oil
    Charm the cobra
    Chicken milking
    Choking Charlie 'till he throws up
    Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
    Choke Kojak
    Choke the bishop
    Choke the chicken
    Cleaning out the rope
    Cleaning the pipes
    Cleaning the rifle
    Clubbing Eddy
    Clubbing the dolphin
    Coax the cajones
    Coming to grips with yourself
    Couch hockey for one
    Cough your filthy yogurt
    Cracking one off
    Cracking the fat
    Crank the Shank
    Creaming the banana
    Crown the king
    Cuff the carrot
    Cuff the governor
    Cuffing the puppy

    Date Rosey Palm and her five daughters
    Dating Miss Michigan
    Detoxifying the puppy
    Devil's handshake
    Diddle yourself
    Dishonorable discharge
    Doing the knuckle shuffle on your piss pump
    Dong flogging
    Doodle your noodle
    Drain the dragon
    Drain the monster
    Drain the vein
    Drip the pickle
    Drop off a load
    Drubbing the dolphin

    Eberting Siskel

    Fertilizing the Lawn
    Fetch the bagel dog
    Fiddle the ferret
    Fight your turkey
    Firm your worm
    Fist f@ck
    Fist kabobing
    Fist your mister
    Five against one
    Five finger knuckle shuffle
    Five knuckle olympics
    Flog yourself
    Flogging the bishop
    Flogging the dolphin
    Flogging your dong
    Flogging your log
    Flong your dong
    Flute solo
    Flying a kite
    Fondle the fig
    Freeing the willies
    Friction therapy
    Frig yourself
    Frigging the love muscle
    F@ck Mary Fist

    Gallop the antelope
    Get a hold of yourself
    Get your nuts off
    Getting in touch with your manhood
    Getting in touch with yourself
    Getting to know yourself
    Getting your caps peeled
    Gherkin jerkin'
    Giving it a tug
    Giving oneself a "low-five"
    Giving the John Hancock
    Grease the pipe
    Greasing your bone
    Grip your dip
    Grooming your junior
  6. Del_B_Vista

    Del_B_Vista Active Member

    Hack the hog
    Ham shank
    Hand dancing
    Hand jive
    Hand job
    Handle yourself
    Hands on training
    Hand to gland combat
    Hand to hand combat with the purple helmeted warrior
    Hand work
    Having a pull
    Having a roy
    Have it off
    Have one off the wrist
    Heating up the hot dog
    Hitchhike under the big top
    Hitching to Heaven
    Hit the ham
    Holding all the cards
    Holding your sausage hostage
    Hone your bone
    Hump your fist
    Hump your hose
    Humpin' air

    Interrogating the witness
    Ironing some wrinkles

    Jack hammer
    Jack off
    Jackin' the beanstalk
    Jag off
    Jazz yourself
    Jerk off
    Jerk the gherkin
    Jerk the Johnson
    Jiggle the jewelry
    Jimmying your Joey
    Juggling the javelin

    Keep the census down
    Kick one out
    Killing kittens
    Killing the beast
    Knock the top off
    Knuckle shuffle

    Launching the hand shuttle
    Leakin' the main drain
    Living by the fat of the hand
    Lizard milking
    Loping your mule
    Lynching the one-eyed monster

    Makin' gravy for the biscuit
    Making the bald guy puke
    Making nut butter
    Making yogurt
    Mangle the midget
    Manipulate the mango
    Manual exercise
    Manual override
    Manual pollution
    Masonic secret self handshake
    Massage the muscle
    Massage the purple-headed warrior
    Menage a moi
    Milking the bull
    Milking the lizard
    Milking the monkey
    Molding hot plastic
    Muscling up

    Nerk your throbber

    Oil the glove
    Oiling the pogo stick
    One handed clapping
    One handed humpty hump love pump, The
    One handed rodeo, The
    One-legged race, The
    One man show
    One man tug-o-war
    One man wrestling
    One man's game

    Pack your palm
    Paddle the pickle
    Paint the pickle
    Paint the walls
    Pat the Robertson
    Peel the banana
    Peel the carrot
    Peter beater
    Petting the dog
    Playing with D*ck
    Playing with Susie Palm and her five friends
    Playing with the noodle
    Play pocket pool
    Play the organ
    Play the pisser
    Play the p*ss pipe
    Play the skin flute
    Play the stand-up organ
    Playing with the snake
    Playing your instrument
    Play with yourself
    Plunk your twanger
    Pocket pinball
    Pocket pool
    Pokin' the palm
    Polish the bishop
    Polish the chrome dome
    Polish the helmet
    Polish the rocket
    Polish the sword
    Polish your bayonet
    Polish your helmet
    Polish your piece
    Polishing the banister
    Polishing the cue stick
    Popping the porpoise
    Pound off
    Pound your flounder
    Pound your p*ss pump
    Pound your pomegranate
    Pounding your pud
    Preemptive infanticide
    Private arm exercise
    Prod the peepee
    Promoting carpal-tunnel syndrome
    Pud wrestling
    Pull the root
    Pull off
    Pull your pud
    Pull your pudding
    Pull yourself off
    Pulling the goalie
    Pulling the p*ss pump
    Pulling the pole
    Pulling the pope
    Pulling the pud
    Pulling the taffy
    Pulling the wire
    Pulling your pickle
    Pump your pickle
    Pumping for pleasure
    Pumping for power
    Pumping the python
    Pumping your gas at self-service island
    Punchin' the clown
    Punchin' the munchkin
    Punishing Percy
    Punishing the bishop
    Punishing the priest
    Punishing the Evil Merchant


    Ram the ham
    Releasing the hostages
    Ricky boxing
    Ride the great white knuckler
    Ringing the bell
    Rolling the fleshy blunt
    Roman helmet rhumba
    Ropin' the long horn
    Rope the pony
    Roughing up the suspect
    Rounding up the tadpoles
    Rub off
    Rub one out
    Rub the unicorn's horn
    Rubbing Peter to pay Paula
    Run off a batch
  7. Del_B_Vista

    Del_B_Vista Active Member

    Saluting the general
    Sanding the main mast
    Shaking hands with the unemployed
    Shlackin' the glacknoid
    Scraping the carrot
    Scratching the itch
    Seasoning your meat
    Sending out the troops
    Setting sail with Captain Thumb on the USS Hand
    Sex with your best friend
    Shag off
    Shaking hands with Abe Lincoln
    Shaking hands with shorty
    Shaking hands with the governor
    Shaking hands with the unemployed
    Shake the snake
    Shaking the tree
    Shifting gears
    Shine your pole
    Shining the helmet
    Shining the torpedo
    Shooting enemies
    Shooting practice
    Shooting putty at the moon
    Shooting Sherman
    Shooting without scoring
    Shower spank
    Shucking Bubba
    Shucking the corn
    Simple infanticide
    Slam the hammer
    Slammin' the salami
    Slappin' pappy
    Slapping the clown
    Slapping Uncle Willy
    Slap boxing the one-eyed champ
    Slap my happy sacs
    Slap the salami
    Slapping the cyclops
    Slapping your chub
    Slinging jelly
    Sloppy Joe's last stand
    Sloppy sign language
    Smacking the snake
    Smite the dragon
    Snap the monkey
    Snap the whip
    Snapping your carrot
    Solitary sin, The
    Spank the frank
    Spank your monkey
    Spear chucking
    Spit-shine the purple helmet
    Splurtin' the spladder bladder
    Spreading the mayo
    Spunk the monk
    Squeeze the cream from the flesh twinkie
    Squeeze the lemon
    Squeezing the tube of toothpaste
    Squeezing the burrito
    Stall clapping
    Stir the soup
    Strangling the snake
    Strangling the Wonka
    Stroke off
    Stroke the stallion
    Stroke your poke
    Stroking it
    Stroking your goat
    Stroke your poker

    Tadpole rodeo, The
    Taking a core sample
    Taking a shake break
    Taking advantage of yourself
    Taking Herman to the circus
    Taking Little Johnny dancing down at Knuckle Junction
    Tame the wild hog
    Taming of the shrew, The
    Tap the turkey
    Tease one out
    Tease the python
    Tease the weasel
    Tenderize the meat
    Tethering the blimp
    The erky jerk
    The sticky page rhumba
    Threading a needle
    Throttle the bottle
    Throw off a catch
    Throwin' down
    Thump the pump
    Tickle the Elmo
    Tickle the pickle
    Tickle your goodfoot
    Toss off
    Toss the boss
    Toss the midget
    Toss the turkey
    Touch off a batch of orphans
    Tugging the tapioca tube
    Tugging the tubesteak
    Tug of war with cyclops
    Tuning the antenna
    Turning on the ivory faucet
    Tussle with your muscle
    Twang your wire

    Uncorking the champagne
    Unwrapping the pepperoni

    Varnishing the cane
    Vinegar stroke

    Waking up your bro
    Walking the dog
    Walking Willie the one-eyed wonder worm
    Wang whacking
    W#nk the Willy Wonka
    Wanking the crank
    Waxing the dolphin
    Wax your Jackson
    Wax your weasel
    Wax your Willy
    Whack the bag
    Whack off
    Whack your tack
    Whacking the weed
    Whapping your wang
    Whip the cummy
    Whip your cripper
    Whipping the one-eyed wonder weasel
    Whipping the pony
    Whipping the window washer
    Whipping up a batch
    White water wristing
    Whizzin' J*zz
    Wiggling your worm
    Willy tickle
    Winding the Jack In The Box
    Wing it
    Wonk your conker
    Work one out
    Working a cramp out of your muscle
    Working your willy
    Wrestling Jimmy
    Wrestling the bald-headed champ
    Wrestling the bald-headed sumo
    Wrestling the eel
    Wring out your rope
    Wring your thing
    Wringing 'round the rosie
    Wrist aerobics


    Yank my doodle dandy
    Yank off
    Yank the yodel
    Yank your crank
    Yank your yam

    Zipper surfing
  8. Boom_70

    Boom_70 Well-Known Member

    Great Thread!

    I like "Manny was Manny again. WE are going to have to trade Edgar"
  9. Nola4520

    Nola4520 Member

    In the same vein (if you will) of Del_B_Vista's exhaustive posts, we bring you the Bloodhound Gang's Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo lyrics ...

    Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

    Vulcanize the whoopee stick
    In the ham wallet

    Cattle prod the oyster ditch
    With the lap rocket

    Batter dip the cranny ax
    In the gut locker

    Retrofit the pudding hatch
    Ooh la la
    With the boink swatter

    If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
    In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
    I brazillian wax poetic so hypothetically
    I don't wanna beat around the bush

    Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo
    Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

    Marinate the nether rod
    In the squish mitten

    Power drill the yippee bog
    With the dude piston

    Pressure wash the quiver bone
    In the bitch wrinkle

    Cannonball the fiddle cove
    Ooh la la
    With the pork steeple

    If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
    In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
    I brazillian wax poetic so hypothetically
    I don't wanna beat around the bush

    Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo
    Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

    Put the you know what in the you know where
    Put the you know what in the you know where
    Put the you know what in the you know where
    Put the you know what in the you know where pronto
  10. farmerjerome

    farmerjerome Active Member

    Eww. That sounds like she needs a tampon. :-X
  11. spup1122

    spup1122 Guest

    You would think, but apparently that's her code for needing to poo. She kept saying it and none of us got it (we were all drunk). She tried to explain it, but we still thought she was stupid and decided to take a shot of vodka and cranberry and call it Code Magenta. She was SO embarrassed.
  12. BigDog

    BigDog Active Member

    Who posted the list of all the things JR wants to do with Damon Allen?
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