Fat, lazy slob seeks gym advice

Needed to start working out years ago -- I no longer have the physique of a 25yo, I have the physique of a 25-man-roster. Anyway, wanted to scope out some gyms online, yet can't seem to get an idea of membership cost from the damned websites. All of them, it seems, just want to get you in the door before they for the hard sell.

So, fellow SportsJournalists.com-ers, what do gym memberships go for these days?

 

My YMCA is $41.50 a month, which is a bit steep, but gives me a place with all the free weights, weight machines and cardio machines I could ever want, ample opportunity to swim or play racquetball, and (the clincher) a guaranteed place to get two hours of full-court, 5-on-5 basketball every weekday morning.

 

I pay $35 a month for a facility with a big workout area (and all kinds of machines and weights), lots of different classes, an outdoor pool, six tennis courts and it even has a salon inside. I'd say $35 is a bargain considering what I get out of it.

 

I'm not sure an online gym is gonna work too well.

What do you do? Bench press the keyboard?

 

I'll preface this by asking you what you're looking for.

I pay about $45 a month for my gym. There are other gyms in town that are cheaper, but they're also located in strip malls and have names like "X-Treme Fitness" and "Break Yo Self and Exercise, Pussy." My gym is actually operated by the local medical center, and thanks to the deeper pockets, the equipment and environment is top-notch.

In terms of getting an idea of what they'll offer and how they'll sell you, forget online. The best thing to do is call. You can get a real good idea just by calling and saying "Hi, I'm Killick, I'm interested in joining and doing XXXXXX. How much is that?" If they say "Great! Our rates for that are XXXXX," like mine did, that's usually a good sign. If you hear any sentences beginning with "We also offer..." you may want to be leery.

The bottom line is you want someplace comfortable. If it's a less-than-pleasing environment, you're not going to want to go there on days you don't want to work out. I may pay a bit more, but in return I get someplace that I actually enjoy going to three to six days a week.

 

You're right about them wanting you in the door before they talk money. The gym I was in had about 43 different plans, different down payments, different monthly payments, etc. They purposely made it as confusing as possible. Then, after I'd been a member about a month, they started calling me at home once a week, asking if I wanted to "upgrade" my membership. I probably would've renewed, but my hours changed to the point where I couldn't get there as often. In any event, the sales approach at this gym was VERY slimy--worse than a car dealer.

There are some gyms now that are in the $20/month range. Usually they don't have pools or locker rooms but they have lots of equipment. 24-hr Fitness Express is one. If I were going to join now, that's where I'd go.

 

Honestly, at this point, I'm probably just looking at the bike and stairmaster kinda thing. Won't be ready to get all Hulk-a-mania 'til later. Much work to be done first. And, Kaylee... "Break Yo Self and Exercise, Pussy"? Funny shit.

 

Killick;

Granted, I don't know your physique. And since I'd rather not have you send portraits of yourself in the nude to verify, I'm just going to assume from your initial post that it's been awhile for you.

You may consider, if you find a good place and have the coin to do so, sign up for a personal training program. When the body hasn't been stressed for a while, it's easy to "overdo it", easier than you might think. Basically, sudden exercise causes the muscles, joints bones and even heart to say "WHOA, HEY! WHAT THE FUCK, BRO?!?" If you allow a professional to tailor your workout plan, you'll avoid the nagging injuries that can pop up.

Biking and mastering stairs should be fine. But eventually, you'll want to lift for the sake of toning and whatnot. That's when you want to be careful.

 

good advice. no matter how much you pay it won't matter if it's uncomfortable or you're the only lardo (no offense) in a room full of prison guards. also, go during the busiest hours at least once when you're testing it out so you can see if it's so jammed you can't even pick up a dumbbell or it seems manageable.

 

LARDO?
LARDO?
Well, yeah. Lardo.
Carry on.
And thanks, everyone.

 

My YMCA is $70/month, but that's the family plan and gives me access to all local branches (just in case I'm not near home or work when I want to pound the treadmill).