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Family un-adopts Russian-born son

Discussion in 'Sports and News' started by zimbabwe, Apr 9, 2010.

  1. playthrough

    playthrough Moderator Staff Member

    Returned like a piece of merchandise...how American. I'm mad and embarrassed. Fully understand the Russian outcry, however generalized it is.
     
  2. qtlaw

    qtlaw Well-Known Member

    My cousin adopted two girls from China (two years apart). When the first one came, she was about a year old and she looked like she was about 3-4 mos. old, she was so small. Even harder was she was born the same time as my nephew. I cannot even pretend to know how hard it was for her and her sister. But 15 years later? They are wonderful girls surfing in Palos Verdes, CA who my boys cannot get enough of. Adoptions are a true gift both ways.
     
  3. D-3 Fan

    D-3 Fan Well-Known Member

    Until I read this thread, I have the same "misconception" and questions that House had on domestic and international adoptions.

    Luggie and Crimson, thank you for not only adopting these kids and telling us your experience of going through it, but the both of you changed my mind and made me think about it in a big-picture way.

    Don't knock House for not knowing how the full scope of adoptions in general.

    I remembered seeing major news stories about adopted children being taken back to their biological parents after 1, 3, or 8 years after giving them up.

    It is fucking hell for everyone to deal with.
     
  4. crimsonace

    crimsonace Well-Known Member

    A lot of people do. Adoption is more widespread, but it is still very uncommon, and therefore widespread knowledge about it is also uncommon. When we were waiting to adopt, I had the "aren't there enough kids here?" question to answer more than once. I had to explain how one friend had a child for an entire summer, the parental rights had completely been terminated, and somehow, the birthmother found some loophole and demanded the child back. The parents were heartbroken, but the child was devastated ... and they've never had contact since ... another friend had paid a birthmother's expenses, adopted a girl, had the birthmother take the girl back, and then returned the girl back to my friend.

    Emotionally, we can't do that. Just can't. But there are plenty of families who can. We're all wired differently, and that's a wonderful thing, because the real winners are the kids and parents whose lives are enriched by being a family ... which is why I burn with anger at this Tennessee family. Kids are not chattel. They are not things you send back if they don't turn out the way you wanted to, EVEN IF you've been given a caveat emptor. You can't return them ... it is your job, as a parent, to love them and parent them. If you can't, then get together with your adoption agency and help identify a family who can ... don't just dump a kid off on a plane and send him to Moscow.
     
  5. Lugnuts

    Lugnuts Well-Known Member

    The more I read about this Tennessee mom's story, the more I think this was about her issues, not his.

    The capper for me was that the social workers had checked in with her twice to see how things were going-- most recently in March. And the woman told them everything's great. Well fuck her.

    It also appears there may have been some abuse (over and above the abandonment).

    The thing that is really bothering me is that the stupid Tennessee sheriff is saying he's not sure there's anything they can do. Uh, how about throw her ass in jail?

    She adopted that child, which in this country, makes him every bit her child-- the same as a biological child. I mean, don't you have to sign papers in the courts saying you take full responsibility and that your child can inherit from you, etc. etc. etc. ??

    She abandoned and endangered her child - bottom line.
     
  6. KG

    KG Active Member

    Now Russia has halted all adoptions from the US.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100415/ap_on_re_eu/eu_russia_us_adoptions
     
  7. beanpole

    beanpole Member

    I agree, but I think it's going to be tough for the sheriff to make an abandonment/neglect charge stick. The abandonment didn't happen until grandma pushed him onto the jet in DC, so a slick defense attorney could likely fight any abandonment charge files in Tennessee. I think the sheriff's best chance is to prove abuse, but it will be very hard now that the child is in Russia and unavailable to be interviewed by police.
     
  8. KG

    KG Active Member

    Either way, other US families trying to adopt from Russia are now being unfairly screwed.
     
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