Family Jewels

Has anybody seen Gene Simmons' show on A&E yet?

I've seen a couple of episodes and found them quite funny and entertaining, and not just because I've been a big KISS fan since sixth grade and a Shannon Tweed fan since puberty. The kids -- son Nick is about 16 and is 6-foot-7 -- are pretty funny and everyone makes fun of Gene a lot.

 

There may not be a bigger money-grubbing, publicity-hungry whore in all the world than Gene Simmons.

And that's coming from a big-time KISS fan.

 

True -- see KISS condoms and coffins -- but he just comes across as goofy in the show.

 

Yeah, but the beauty is that Gene knows that and celebrates it. Look at the control he tried to exert over Nick's band.
Frankly, the show has me laughing my ass off ... I can't wait for tonight's episode at midnight.

 

Oh my God, I'm watching the first of last night's episodes and it's as funny as hell. He's now in Vegas and -- holy shit -- there's Vince Neil and Rob Halford and ... and ... KK Dowing and Sully and ... and ... wow.

 

They had Simmons and Tweed on Stern a couple weeks ago and he freely admits that he's a businessman first and a performer second...

At least he admitted it...

I kind of like the show...

 

Who won the driving test?

 

Oh man, the funniest Stern I ever heard was a few years ago when he had Gene Simmons and Craig Gass (master Simmons imitator) on at the same time. Simmons would start talking about some business venture, like the Kiss coffin, and Gass would jump in (presumably it was him -- it was hard to tell the difference) and make it more ridiculous by adding stuff like "and for $1 million, I will get in there with you."

 

Ahem...

 

Stunned to learn that he has never once been drunk or high.

 

Craig Gass is a master... He does a Sam Kinison impression that is so real it's scary... He also does a Tracy Morgan impression that's funny as shit...

 

The best lines of the last night's show ... Nick and Gene were checking out the engine of the SUV. Nick proudly announces he found the dipstick but has no idea what to do with it.
Gene leans in and says, 'Hey, we have a V8. I wonder what that means.'
Then ... and I'm paraphrasing a bit because I watched a few hours ago ... he says, 'We don't need to know this stuff. We hire the gentiles to take care of it for us. That's what they're for.'

I roared.