Facebook facepalms

There are just some Facebook posts that make you want to slap yourself in the forehead at their sheer stupidity.

There is one dude I'm friends with on FB who I used to know back in my younger days and his lack of punctuation and utter brainlessness finally forced me to unsubscribe from his feed. However, when he posts on the wall of other people on my friends list, I still occasionally see his posts. And, man, they are mind-numbing.

With that in mind, I thought it would be fun if we posted some of the stupid shit we see people say on Facebook.

I'll kick it off with this beauty. A friend mentioned that her husband is going in for surgery today and this is that guy's response, copy and pasted.

 

There is a woman who I was friends with when I was very little who I am Facebook friends with. She moved out of Brooklyn when I was maybe 6, but stayed close with other people who lived in my apartment building and somehow decided to friend me. I haven't seen her in over 35 years and have no memory of her whatsoever.

She is divorced and every single date, conversation or interaction with a single man results in her venting about how much men suck. Then all of her yenta friends end up agreeing with her comments and offering moral support. It's like an addiction to pity. You want to shake her and say that she'll never find a man if she keeps complaining and even if she likes someone, he'll look at her Facebook wall and be scared away.

But part of me just likes watching the trainwreck.

 

I've had friends who have posted right up until the crowning moment. This is after nine months of constant sonograms/baby bump pictures/weekly updates from those apps about how big your baby is. We've got it. You're pregnant.

Then you have one of my friends, who didn't even tell us she was pregnant at all until the post-hospital release Facebook announcement that had all of us going, "....wait...WHAT?!"

 

I got a lot of complaints from my family and friends that we stopped updating when things got close. They were pretty scared something had gone wrong.

 

I just keep my mouth shut.
Kids are great. Childbirth and pregnancy are great. For you. And your immediate family. The first time.
But its nice have to keep a little perspective - like knowing you've done something about 10 billion people in world history have done before you.
It's a miracle in your corner of the world. Congrats.


On another note:
My gay FB friend and his mate's cat died last week, hit by a car.
They had a funeral Saturday. He has been in mourning and posting pics of the cat everyday since.
He posted something Monday about how hard it was to get up and go to work in such a devastated state.

Monday
"Survived the day."

Tuesday
"Dragging myself through."

 

You wouldn't think a gay guy would be that upset about a lack of pussy.

 

Spit. Take.
I want message him that so bad ... I may have to wait a week!

AWESOME!!!

 

I don't know if that's the post of the year, but it's definitely the post of the week.

No shitting, actually laughed out loud. Well done, space ranger, well done.

 

I enjoy pissing off people who bitch about people on Facebook on my Facebook page.

 

It's a bitch fest on Facebook. I have a relative who constantly complains in her feed, but bitches when she sees friends posting crappy news.

When her husband lost his job, I wanted to say he's lying to you on why he lost it. She posted for about a week everything her husband was telling her. At first, he was getting demoted, then a promotion, and then status quo. Finally, it was a pink slip. I don't think she realized her husband was just setting her up to break the news he was getting canned.

 

Just about every single female on my friends list is posting today about Pfizer's recall of birth control pills. Apparently, all my friends are whores!

 

Not for nothing, but they also regulate hormones and increase your skin's appearance.