Everyone needs a little advice now and again

Alright folks I need some love advice, from people that are separated from my situation. So I figured why not take my problems to an anonymous message board? : (Oh boy, this is gonna be a mistake.)

A LITTLE BACKSTORY FIRST: I am 21, a youngin' on this board. I go to college. I started going out with my girlfriend, we'll call her Angela, 5 years ago. We had everything planned out. She is the most gorgeous girl i have ever seen and I love her alot. After high school she went to school in a city an hour and a half away. It was tough but we have gotten through three years of it, through frequent visits and phone calls. We had "broken up" in the past, but I never really got with anyone else, and she only had gotten as far as kissing two other guys and we would still talk to each other a lot and get with each other.

2 months ago... I said to her that I needed a break, (something that she had done to me in the past, but it was the first time I had ever done that to her.) I just wanted to experience what else was out there. There was two other girls that I had started to get a little friendly with. After we broke up, we didn't talk. I texted her but got no answer the first week. She texted me a very loving text message the next week, but I was still wanted some time apart and didn't call her back right away. She texted me a "we need to talk" kind of message, and I got in touch with her a week later (I was pissed that she actually wasn't calling me, i figured if she needed to talk to me she could call me.) All in all, we basically didn't speak for a month.

During this month, there were two girls that i began trying to get with. One was this girl, we'll call her Mary. Although I wasn't really friends with Mary, most of my friends were. I had always thought she was hot, and i could kind of sense that the feeling was mutual. She did have a boyfriend, but he is a complete douchebag. We started hanging out (almost all of the time she would be the one calling me) and it was real fun. One night, we were partying at my friend's house and she asked me to stay the night, because I had been drinking (I wasn't really drunk at all.) We ended up trying to sleep on this lovechair kind of thing, and i made my move. She went for it and it was a very FUN night ;D! She started calling me and talking to me a lot. She was ready to ditch her BF. She had told me some things that had happened to her a couple years prior that kind of freaked me out. Anyway, the next weekend we were hanging out and we pretty much finished what we had started the weekend before...

Now to the other girl. I work with her, we'll call her Karen. She is so gorgeous, with a personality that completely fits mine to a tee. We both like to joke around, like the same music, movies, and shows. Shes almost two years older than myself. Unfortunately, she also had a BF. (Fuck my luck!) We always flirt with each other and people in my work tell me all the time that she likes me. Right after I became single we started going to the bars with each other and hanging out a lot. She was having a lot of problems with her BF, but I still didn't try anything cause we work together and I didn't want things to turn weird considering she still had a BF. (I know that I did get with Mary even though she had a BF, but the added complication of work held me back.) One night, right after the break up, we stayed at my friend's house and we tried to sleep on this futon. She was all up on me, and I really think I could have gotten with her, but it was too close to when me and my girl had broken up that I didn't do it (DAMNIT!!!!), all that happened was a PG13 kiss. To make a long story short, things between her and her BF got better and we stopped hanging out that much...

1 month ago, I had told Mary that we needed to stop talking cause I was gonna try to get back with Angela, and I knew Angela would be pissed that I got with Mary. I told Angela about everthing and how I feel and all of that and she was pissed that I had gotten with Mary, not so much Karen. She had told me that she was real upset all month that we hadn't talked. She also told me that she had started getting with this one fucking kid that has no future whatsoever. She had actually just got back from visiting him. She told me she still loved me though, but we can't get back together right now. We talked for a week, but I was angry about the kid and upset about this whole stupid ass situation ( The grass isn't always greener...). We still text every know and then but we haven't spoken in about a month again.

Since that month... Karen started asking me to hang out and we've gone out and partyed almost every weekend. She still has the stupid ass boyfriend, but she continues to flirt with me. Me, her and a bunch of other people went down the shore and she had said that she wanted to get with me, but i still don't want to get with her when she has that BF. (Even though if it was just me and her down the shore i would have gotten with her, truth be told.) Meanwhile, Mary and I had gone to lunch with my other friend about two weeks ago and she texted me about how much she liked it, but I didn't respond. Then she called me this past week about a party and i didn't call her back for a couple days. Then when I did, she didn't answer or call me back. At the party we found ourselves alone upstairs and i tried to avoid her but then she asked why i hate her. ( where the fuck did that come from?) I told her i don't hate her, she started crying, and then i told her that i like her. She said I'm always trying to avoid her, and I said yea I don't want to see her with her dickhead BF (Amazingly they are still going out, what a terrible relationship).

Now here is my dilemma, I do like Mary and I really want to call her but I don't want to upset Angela if she ever found out. ( Am i being dumb there?) I mean my first preference would be to get back with Angela. Should I out and out tell Karen how i feel, and risk things being incredibly weird. (I think she figures it out i like her, just like i kinda know she likes me.) Should I try something with Karen? Karen still has a BF, and although they aren't having as many problems as two months ago, their relationship is far from perfect. Am I just a dickhead, cuz thats how i feel. Should I try to call Angela?

Thanks for even reading this, if you got this far. I'm just confused looking for some outsiders knowledge. Once again, thanks for reading all of this. Some of you may not care, but some of you may have had a similar problem and help me out.

 

Could you boil all that down to less than 100 words? And how are things at the Peach Pit?

EDIT: Moddy beat me to it.

 

Yea I know its long, and i don't care if you don't read it, but for those that do, maybe they can offer me some insight.

Sorry about the length, honestly. Shit thats longer than most of my papers for school.

 

I read it.

In response to your excessively long explanation, you get this:

If what you really want is to get back together with Angela, attempting to hook up with other girls just makes you a jackass.

 

What she said.

I read it, too, because I was hoping there would be some point where you didn't come off looking like a jerk. Sorry; didn't happen.

 

Funny.

 

My advice to you is to find a way to fuck Kelly AND Valerie.

 

First of all, GREAT 90210 reference John. Classic.

Now, XXXX....

I read the whole thing.

Hooking up with the new girls doesn't make you seem like a jackass. You don't look like a jerk. Bro, you're 21 years old and that is how most 21 year olds act. Would I? No.

But to boil it down.
You + Angela = 5 years. Good relationship. Got bored. Wanted to sow wild oats.
You + Mary = Semi-attracted. Definitely not totally down for her. Sounds like a drama case.
You + Karen = Very down. Always out of reach. Classic, "Want what you can't have."

Now...

All three are attractive, you say, but which one are you least interested in? It sounds like Mary. If that's the case, you have to ask yourself if the hassle of dealing with her is worth it. If you're not 100 percent into her, and even worse, you don't see yourself being 100 percent into her, don't do it.

On to Karen. She sounds like a fun girl, a girl you relate to, a girl you're definitely interested in. At the time, it's not the best time to tell her your feelings, simply because you've only recently become friends. In the end, the temporary ass you may get from her will be awesome, but temporary. You sound like you really dig this chick. Wait a little while, especially wait until you have some normal, non-drunk time together, then see how you/she feels.

Now, Mary. A 5-year relationship from 16-21 when part of it is long-distance should not make you feel obligated or tied-down or even like you owe it to yourself to make it work. Trust me. I had a long relationship early in college, and while it was great and ended well, I have no doubt I'll find someone better.

For you, that might be Karen. Hell, it might even be MAry. The main thing is, don't just go back to Angela because you feel you should or because you don't want to waste the relationship. If it ain't clicking it ain't clicking.

To sum it up: Ask yourself, is the juice worth the squeeze for any of them?

 

Plus, you have that line Alan Arkin said in Little Miss Sunshine: Get as much young (penocha) as you can.

 

Go for it.