Everybody Should Be a Mascot Once...

Man wakes up drunk in empty baseball stadium, steals mascot outfit, hilarity ensues...

Homer's night on the town

And his own words are glorious...

 

The police report said you also stole a two-way radio from the dressing room.

I got that in case they radioed that the suit was stolen so I could just chime them back and say, "Hey, I have it. Don't worry, I'll return it."

Dude, you're busted now ...

 

Have you heard from old friends and family or made any new friends out of this attention?

My grandma saw it on the news in Ohio.

Of course she's from Ohio...

 

Passing out two days in a row has got to be hard on his employment. I love that story.

 

I got like three numbers that night and have added like 20 chicks on Facebook. That's been a plus.

 

Makes me recall one of my favored remembrances of drunken escapades in my youth.

A group of college buddies gathered in Indianapolis at a friend's place for the weekend. Happened to be Halloween, so we had a Halloween party with costumes and the like. One of our group comes dressed as Santa Claus.

I wake up the next morning in a hazy, hung over state and decide to step out on the front lawn for some air. There, passed out on the lawn is Santa Claus. And strolling by on the sidewalk hand in hand is a mother and her young son, mom apparently trying to explain to her child why Santa Claus was sleeping in broad daylight in an Indianapolis neighborhood in early November.

 

Maybe he's hoping to become a mid-inning substitute so that an aging major league mascot can take a piss break?

 

This is like a Pro Football Talk Commenter movie script.